Not only did Laurie Roberts, my favorite journalist from the Arizona Republic, write another spot-on article, but it’s great to learn about the progress the committee is making. I have friends at Childhelp and I’m rooting for the success of this task force. Read Laurie’s article, you’ll root too: http://tiny.cc/8gbxc
WASHINGTON – In a first for any age group, more than half of Americans ages 25 to 29 live in households with cellphones but no traditional landline telephones.
A report on phone use by the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention also found that the younger children are, the likelier they are to live in homes that have only wireless phones. That suggests that younger parents are showing increasing comfort relying only on cellphones.
Taken together, the figures released Tuesday provide the latest evidence of how young people are leading the nation’s evolution away from landline phones.
“You could say that among that age group, wireless only is the new norm,” said Stephen Blumberg, a senior scientist at the CDC and an author of the survey.
The survey indicated that overall, 27 percent of U.S. households had only cellphones in the first half of this year, up 2 percentage points since the last half of 2009. Among 25- to 29-year-olds, 51 percent lived in homes with only cellphone service in the first half of 2010.
That was up 2 percentage points from the previous six-month period.
The study also found that, among children younger than 3, nearly four in 10 live in wireless-only households.
Read more: http://www.azcentral.com/arizonarepublic/news/articles/2010/12/22/20101222cellphones-mobile1222.html#ixzz19RZJjjyg
Although it adds to household of office overhead costs, I’m a huge supporter of landlines and have every intention of keeping mine. Particulary where safety factors in and I encourage you to bear this in mind for your families. It amazes me when I teach workshops to find out how many parents no longer have landlines in the home.
What if the power goes out? What if you can’t find your phone? Ever leave it in your car? Have the kids run off with it? Sadly there have been several recorded incidents of true tragedies because emengency services couldn’t be called, or they couldn’t locate the caller.
Please invest in your family’s safety and have a land line and at least one extention. Make sure caregivers; babysitters grandparents and so on know where it is. Teach your children their home number and how to use the phone- especially what is and isn’t an emergency and how to dial 9-1-1. (Incidentally – this is one of the most fun parts ot the I Can Be Safe classes.) I found an article which supports this thinking and copied a portion of it below.
One of the most obvious benefits to a landline is an almost guaranteed service fidelity. While cell phone service has improved drastically in recent years, reception nonetheless remains spotty in some areas, including some people’s homes. Moreover, cell phone coverage is sometimes intermittent, so that a house that one day has perfect cell phone reception may the next not get service at all. On a day-to-day level this may occur infrequently enough that it isn’t a huge deal, but when an important business call needs to be made, or a call drops out in the middle of a heart-to-heart with a long-lost friend, you might find yourself wishing for the stability of a landline.
Battery life is another factor in considering retaining a landline, even after getting a cell phone. While battery life is getting better on cell phones, it is still quite finite on most when actively talking. For normal conversations, this can be fine, but for wanting to sit around talking to a best friend all night and into the early morning, having the phone drop out from a dead battery can be unacceptable. While many people use cordless phones with their landline, they tend to have better battery life anyway, and a landline always offers the option of using a corded phone.
The landline also offers a possible advantage over the cell phone in the hopefully unlikely event of an emergency. While many cell phones include GPS capabilities now, a landline allows the emergency services to immediately locate where the call is originating from. This may only save a few seconds, but in the case of a true emergency those few seconds can matter immensely. (Source: http://www.wisegeek.com/what-are-the-advantages-of-having-a-landline.htm)
Laurie Roberts is absolutely right, we should light a fire. Of anger. “Don’t light a candle for Ame, light a fire.”
This kind of situation always infuriates me. Particularly when it comes to adults taking the small amount of time out of their day, only once, to attend Alert Parents, Safer Kids or Its Who’s Looking That Makes a Difference.
Some of the comments I hear are “I don’t want to cut into family time.” Do you know how much therapy ‘cuts into family time’; or “It costs too much.” What? $35.00? By the way, that comment came from a woman who bought a $300 designer dog two months later.
From my point of view it’s utterly ridiculous and embarrassing how apathetic your own community has become. In the Arizona Republic Opinion article “There were no heroes for her” I took this quote “Several neighbors told Republic reporter William Hermann that they didn’t want to break up the family? Seriously? Well, the so called “family“ is broken up now – at long last. Far too late for Ame.
Years ago I called the police to report a suspicion of child molestation at the hands of the new step-father. The mother apparently defended him and told her daughter that “she ruined her life” by telling other children and that I “ruined her life” by reporting it to the police. Great mother, huh? But I would do it again, and again and again. I don’t need to be a hero, and neither do you. You need to simply do the right thing.
One of the wonderful “perks” of being an independant consultant and trainer is networking with others who are in “the business” of safety and security as well. One of my collegues, Nancy Hightshoe of Nancy Hightshoe Seminars, in St. Louis Mo, had this story in her newsletter and I liked it so much I asked permission to share it with my readers.
Bubblegum
Teach your children that, when you say “Bubblegum”, they will stick to your side as though they were stuck to you like bubblegum. Anyone who has had gum stuck to the heel of their shoe knows just how persistently stuck gum can be!
This tip comes courtesy of a woman I visited with recently who had attended OUT OF HARM’S WAY years ago.
From the time her daughter was very young, this Mom had used “Bubblegum” in crowded situations – at the mall, coming out of the movies, concerts. All these experiences were excellent practice for when an emergency occurred.
She and her 10-year-old daughter were visiting a bazaar overseas when a kidnapper tried to pull the girl away. As soon as Mom realized the danger, she said “Bubblegum” and held on tight to her daughter’s right hand. The 10-year-old glued herself to her Mom’s side as the man tried to pull the girl away by her left hand. Mom wouldn’t let go of her daughter and the little girl kept pulling her body right up against Mom.
Realizing that this was not going to be the easy abduction he had anticipated, the kidnapper let go and ran off into the crowd. Mother and daughter came home safe and sound!
The other day I took my daughter to the doctor’s office for an annual exam. When the doctor reviewed eating habit s and advice with my daughter I was so pleased to hear her discuss all the same things I do: more water, a balanced diet, adding more protein and fewer cabs, avoiding sugar, and so on. It reinforced in my mind that I was doing and saying the right things to my daughter.
But more than anything, it was interesting to see my daughter nod her head in agreement and tell the doctor the things she planned to do differently. Why couldn’t I get that reaction from her? Easy – I’m mom. Suddenly it all means more and makes better sense coming from someone else.
I’m no stranger to the dynamic. Countless parents have brought their young ones to I Can Be Safe!® classes for the exact same reason. Even if the parents discuss safety with their kids (and I’m here to tell you very few do) the kids don’t hear it because it comes from mam and dad. It’s like watching an old Peanuts® cartoon and hearing the voice of the adult go “Waa Waa Waa”; just meaningless noise.
But when kids come to the classes it really resonate because it comes from someone else who is a crossover between a voice of authority and a parent figure. After all, I can get down on the floor and relate but give them stories and activities with teach.
It’s ok to ask for help, even if it means a small investment. In the long run your kids learn the safety skills they need; and at the end of the day – that’s worth doing whatever it takes.
Regardless of your child’s age this is an immensely valuable article. It comes from a site in the UK, and with Facebook’s global reach it’s 100% relevant in the US.
Parents and Kids Cautioned About Facebook Fraud Across UK
Written by Administrator
Tuesday, 01 February 2011 12:00
Source: http://spamnews.com/The-News/Latest/Parents-and-Kids-Cautioned-About-Facebook-Fraud-Across-UK-2011020114247/
UK police are advising parents and kids that they should watch out for one fresh Facebook fraud, which while exploiting people’s innocence, is presently circulating online. Timesofindia.indiatimes.com reported this on January 22, 2011.
Elaborating further on the above-mentioned subject, Police of Leicestershire (Leicester City, UK) stated that the scam, involving several fake Facebook profiles pretending to be modeling firms as well as utilizing the firms’ logos, tried to look authentic. Timesofindia.indiatimes.com reported this.
The firms apparently contacted kids through electronic mails enquiring whether they’d like to be models. Subsequently, following the dispatch of several e-mails, pressure was created on the kids to send their photos with just their underwear on.
Moreover, it seemed the modeling firms were Leicester-situated, Police stated. A Spokesman representing the Leicestershire Police added that the latest one claimed itself as the Pat Keeling Modeling firm.
But, Pat Keeling doesn’t own a Facebook account, while the modeling firm mentions this on its real official site.
Stated Ed Jones Detective Sergeant of the Pedophile and Online Investigation Team, while remarking about the aforementioned fraud, people shouldn’t let themselves be duped with the e-mails as any well-established modeling firm wouldn’t ever reach them in the manner described. He further cautioned kids not to publish photographs online of themselves showcasing their body with just their underwear on. Besides, if they weren’t yet 18 such pictures might be indecent as per the law in United Kingdom. Onlinesocialmedia.net published this on January 24, 2011.
Meanwhile, one Spokeswoman of Facebook substantiated that the company’s personnel were working to resolve the problem jointly with the Leicestershire Police. She also said that Facebook regarded its users’ safety as most important. Sadly, there’d forever be mal-intended individuals, offline or online, who attempted at duping people. The Spokeswoman added that similar as one required ensuring whether somebody guiding him inside a shop was actually genuine, so must he utilize the same vigilance while browsing Facebook. Press Association published this on January 21, 2011.
Eventually the Spokeswoman said that Facebook strongly recommended users for utilizing the ‘report links’ provided on Facebook.com for reporting anybody they thought was trying to con them.
Dear Readers:
A child or teenager who has runaway is every bit in as much potential danger as one that has been abducted. People seem to shrug off runaways because they “made a choice”.
The traps they can get caught in are horrific leading to lifelong problems. That’ s not to say that sometimes they’re running from problems. It’s saying – please keep your eyes open. A runaway may make dramatic changes to his or her appearance. They may be the hunched over form you see under a bridge or sitting on a park bench. They may the clerk at your convenience store, or the person posting yard work flyers on your front door.
Mesa Girl Missing in Oregon, Believed to be in Danger
A 16-year-old Mesa girl has been reported missing after police say she ran away from the home of a family friend in Oregon.
The girl, identified as Brianna Lee O’Grady, was visiting in Beaverton, Ore., a town about eight miles west of Portland.
Officials say the girl packed additional clothing before running away from the home. A missing persons report was filed with police about 10 p.m. on June 30.
O’Grady is described as a white female with long blond hair, 5-foot-6-inches tall, and 85 pounds. The 16-year-old is anorexic, and the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children has listed her as “endangered.”
According to the Beaverton Police Department, she was last seen wearing skinny jeans, a sweatshirt, white and pink tennis shoes, and carrying a black purse.
Anyone with information regarding O’Grady should contact the Beaverton
Characteristics of an Online Predator
o Most commonly male
o 30 to 65 years old
o Has a middle- to upper-middle class lifestyle
o Usually a college graduate
o Commonly married in the past or is currently married
o Often has children of his own that are older than the children he is chatting with
How Sexual Predators Communicate
o Web sites
o E-mail
o Public and private chat rooms
o Instant messaging programs
Police say the ultimate goal of an Internet predator is to meet their victim face-to-face and the predator will say and do anything in order to do so.
Steps Predators Take to Meet Victims
o Appear familiar: They will mold themselves into something appealing and interesting to the child.
o Develop trust: Listen to the child and sympathize with his/her problems.
o Establish secrecy: Encourages the child to keep their relationship a secret.
o Remove sexual barriers: Feeds off sexual curiosity and slowly introduces sexual content or pictures, commonly done using Web cameras.
o Direct intimidation: Make threats if the child attempts to stop communication or refuses to meet in person.
How To Protect Your Child
o Put the computer in an open space
o Do not allow computers in the child’s bedroom
o Explain that the use of the Internet is a privilege
o Outline family rules concerning the use of the Internet
o Ask your child they know about the Internet, which chat rooms they use, how many screen names they have and how many profiles they have on the Internet
o Ask your child to see their profile and buddy lists
o Stay calm and talk to your child without making accusations. Explain to him/her that if they get a picture, or if someone says something that makes them feel uncomfortable, to tell someone
o Explain that they will not get in trouble for telling a parent
Source: Naugatuck, CT Police Department
KidzWeyes has developed a very successful Internet Use Contract for you and your children to sign. It was featured by Fox 10 news on Phoenix. If you’d like a copy simply email info@KizWeyes.com and let us know! This is a great time to contact us to schedule an Alert Parents, Safer Kids program for you, your friends. or a group you belong to.
From “Draw Me To Safety- 36 Hand Drawn Safety Tips, by Kids- For Kids
by Stephanie Angelo available at www.KidzWeyes.com
Dear Readers,
Finally a KidzWeyes blog – after all these years! Well, I figured, there’s no time like the present, better late than never, and all those other idioms. My intent is that my blogs are useful, meaningfull and timely. KidzWeyes is about preventing the abuse and exploitation of children. Your comments and suggestions are welcome anytime.
To launch my blog I asked my colleague, Sande Roberts, if she would allow me to post her outstanding article on teen suicide. There’s a sadly a strong correlation between the trauma of abuse and teen suicide. In a survey of high school students, the National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center states a history of previous abuse was among the top risk factors for teen suicide.
It’s not a pretty subject. Not fluffy, Not cool. Certainly taboo and uncomforatble. And you know what? As parents it’s something you need to be realistic about. No sticking your head in the sand. Your child’s life may depend on it. Ask anyone whose child has committed suicide. I have. And their answers will break your heart.
Stephanie Angelo
Founder, KidzWeyes
TEN THINGS EVERY PARENT NEEDS TO KNOW ABOUT WHY TEENS CONTEMPLATE SUICIDE
By Sande Roberts
I want to have a conversation with you about why your teen or pre-teen might contemplate suicide. It’s not because they’re crazy. Teen suicide is never about wanting death. It is wholly about wanting to stop emotional anguish. Tragically, it’s a permanent solution to a temporary problem. And it leaves in its wake so many people who are haunted by wondering why they didn’t realize things were so bad. And they beat themselves up wondering what they did that they shouldn’t have and what they didn’t do that they could have.
There are many facets of our lives that can be leading contributors to thoughts of suicide, and too often, the subsequent loss of life. Some of these are: breaking up of personal relationships, loss of loved ones, feelings of rejection and unworthiness, having our values and self esteem stomped on by ourselves and others, as well as unbearable horrors and tragedies. This contributes to the fact that every single one of us, even if it is for one fleeting nanosecond (to discard the thought), considers suicide as a way to end the pain we’re feeling at our lowest moment. Once your teen knows of someone who attempted suicide, it takes a place on the menu of options when life sucks. When I was doing classroom education, 60 to 70% of every class knew of someone who had attempted suicide. Additionally, at least a half dozen students would come up to me during breaks and share about a previous attempt they, themselves, had made. Statements such as, “I was surprised but glad that I woke up after taking all those pills,” still roll around in my head.
These are challenging and frightening times of escalating violence. The media is full of stories about violent acts and bullying. Cyberbullying has increased the ways people can hurt each other even faster. The advancement of social media allows people to be more disconnected from each other than ever before. Even video games are more violent and disconnected from real loss of life. It’s a time when people are wondering if the next suicidal, homicidal, or physically or emotionally bullying person they hear about in the media will be someone who lives next door to them, sits across the aisle at school, works in the next workspace, or is related to them.
Suicide is a topic no one wants to talk about and everyone needs to know about. After accidents, suicide and homicide take turns being the second and third leading cause of death among Americans. Suicide is a real subject that affects a lot of people. Suicide isn’t about trying to be dead, it’s about trying to be heard.
Ten Reasons Youth Contemplate Suicide
Why Is Suicide Such A Hard Topic To Talk About?
It’s scary to talk about death. Death is emotional. To be strong, people are told not to be emotional. Yes, this is about getting attention – it’s about being heard.
While some may think it takes courage for teens to kill themselves; it does not. It does take courage for them to pull themselves out of bed some days to deal with everything.
Warning Signs: What Do You Think A Potentially Suicidal Person Would Act Like?
FEELING INDICATORS
ACTIONS
PHYSICAL
SPOKEN THOUGHTS
What Can You Do?
After a training of officers who work with first time offenders in a large northern California police department, one of the sergeants reported she went home and asked her 14 year old son to go for a walk with her. During the walk she said she practically held her breath while asking him if things were ever so bad that he had thought of suicide as a solution. He stopped and stared at her for a moment. Then, he thanked her for asking and told her things were challenging but not that bad. And then she reported they had the best talk they had ever had.
TALK ABOUT SUICIDE.
If someone is thinking about suicide – they KNOW they are thinking about it. You WILL NOT and CAN NOT give them the idea by bringing it up. They are not going to turn to you and say, “Oh, suicide – now why didn’t I think of that?” You have to ask the question: Are things so bad that you’re thinking suicide might be a solution?
Often teens who are feeling suicidal only want to die for a little while – until things are better – or so they can “view their funeral” and see who their real friends are by who shows up. Remember, their thinking is distorted and they are more interested in ending their pain than their lives. It’s also common for them to feel they are broadcasting their feelings and intentions. They are astounded that no one has picked up on it or has responded in a way they feel heard. An unspoken verbal battle inside their head feels like it can be heard by others. Lack of acknowledgement can lead to their feeling they are backed into a corner to act on their threats.
What If You’re Not Sure How Serious The Situation Is?
The following is a basic assessment guide based on those used by professionals to help determine what potential next steps might be in order. If you’ve had or tried to have a conversation and met resistance or rebellious response, knowing the answers to the following questions will help.
Assessment Guide – CPR
Current Plan:
Do they have a plan?
Ask HOW?
Ask WHEN?
Ask WHERE?
Ask if they have the MEANS?
Prior History:
Resources:
Resources are what the person with the problem perceives as his or her resources. This is NOT what YOU think their resources are.
There are suicide prevention 24 hour hotline resources listed below where you can talk to a person on the phone who has expertise in walking you through steps to take if you have concerns.
IMPORTANT: If you have concern for the immediate safety of your teen, take your teen to one of the psychiatric hospitals with an adolescent unit for an assessment. If they are in danger of self harm and will not go with you willingly, call 911.
Hospitalization
Hospitalization is not therapy. Thoughts of suicide do not mean mental illness even though your teen may be checked into a psychiatric hospital. Hospitalization is a safety net to prevent acting on the impulse while at the top of the danger zone of the peaks and valleys of suicidal thoughts. It can also be a needed wake up call to the parents to take this potentially deadly emotional lapse seriously.
The Eulogy Challenge For Parents
If you are still having trouble bringing up the subject, and if you don’t say something now, what will you wish you had said when you are at their funeral? You and your teen can get over feeling uneasy or being mad at each other…they can not get over being dead.
Can Suicide Be Prevented? Yes And No
Yes. I personally know a significant number of teens (and adults) who are alive because of some sort of intervention, sometimes including hospitalization.
No. Someone who is absolutely determined, given a dangerous mix of circumstances, will complete suicide.
Resources:
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
http://www.afsp.org
Offers information, advocacy and support.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
Call 800-273-TALK. This is a 24 hour suicidal crisis or emotional distress hotline. The call will be routed to a professional who will talk you through your situation and give you local resources.
Sande Roberts is a consultant, coach and trainer. She has a master’s degree in clinical psychology, is a trainer of trainers in crisis and suicide assessment and intervention, is a certified mediator, advocate for victims of domestic violence, and adjunct faculty in the Psychology Department at Phoenix College. Roberts is working on a book: Turning Bad Bosses and Crummy Co-workers Into Great Teams. Roberts provides a series on, How To Know If The Sky Is Falling And What To Do About It: Five Potential Crisis Situations Every Business Needs To Know About. On the lighter side, she facilitates fun workshops including, Permission Spoon Adventures, for singles, couples, families, friends, organizations, associations and work groups.
Sande Roberts
480-748-5527
SandeRoberts@mac.com
www.RealLifeSkillsWorkshops.com
