Human Resource Essential Blog

Recently, when I facilitated a manager-level domestic violence training one of the attendees raised his hand to ask a question. He wanted to know how much counseling was expected of the managers. It was a great opportunity to re-emphasize that managers and human resource professionals are not expected to be therapists, social workers or counselors, unless they have the training and licensing to do so. What they can do is to learn to detect signs, have appropriate conversations, listen actively and refer resources.

Those steps still take training though. There are appropriate, safe and healthy ways to help employees who are victims and those that are offenders. Much of it is the power of listening. There are clear differences in what is healthiest and safest – and what is not. Our goal is to help organizations learn the difference.

“A comprehensive DV program and corporate culture initiative is like an insurance policy.”

I have to credit Marc Drizin of Employee Hold’Em™ http://www.employeeholdem.com for coming up with that comment. He’s a guy that “gets it”, no doubt because although our expertise lies in different arenas, there are aspects of similar purpose – employee retention, improved morale, and happy, healthy work environments. What is your organization doing to insure the safety and health of its employees? How is that affecting morale? What can you do to initiate change? Sometimes we don’t realize that even seemingly small actions make big differences. It might be to read an article, talk to coworkers or ask questions of an expert. It doesn’t have to start out as a big sweeping change to initiate corporate culture change and develop an insurance policy for a high morale workplace that cares for its employees.

Last Friday, July 11^th, my daughter and I were on a remote dirt road south of Flagstaff on our way to go horse back riding. The road was the kind that had loose dirt and trenches running down both sides for water runoff. It was a beautiful day, only slightly overcast as the skies prepared for the torrential rains that were yet to come.

The road was quite narrow and two cars could not easily pass unless they were smaller, narrower versions. Two separate trucks, both pulling campers were ahead of us. They appeared to be traveling together. Courteously they both pulled over so we could pass in my SUV.

A few minutes later, a small white car passed us, at a high speed going the opposite direction and I eased to my right to ensure we both had room. The female driver seemed to be in a terrible hurry and going way too fast for the type of road we were on.

Within about 30 seconds a full size pickup truck was barreling towards us, going fast and right down the center of the road. I wondered if the driver was chasing the woman in the small car.

Again, I eased to the right to make room, but this guy was almost dead center. I had to make a lot of room. Just as we were parallel my rear tires slipped into the trench and I lost all traction. The car started sliding. We were pivoting. I told myself not to over-correct. I had no sense of where the road was. Suddenly the view in front of us was rotating like a camera spinning. We were flipping, over, over, and over. My windshield imploded. I shut my eyes just as glass sprayed into my face.

When we stopped I had no idea if we were sideways, upside down or right side up. I turned around to see my daughter crying behind me. I had the sensation of snapped off fingernails cutting into my hands and my head pounding. I found out later I’d hit it into the roof as the roof smashed in when we were upside down.

I pulled my daughter out and we stood there and hugged. We were both O.K.! I told her anything from here on out was going to be better. The car was totaled and we were fine! It was a really good day.

There was no cell reception in that area. Just as we were gathering ourselves together the two campers we passed a few minutes earlier came along. They stopped and both families got out. Jason, Julie and their children from one; Scott and his daughter from the other. They were truly a Godsend. They helped us, talked to us, gathered our personal belongings, offered food and water, and drove us all the way to their camp site. Once we got into cell reception we made phone calls. Julie’s dad, Shawn already at the camp site, drove my daughter and me all the way to Flagstaff.

These people made a huge difference to us. They went out of their way, they went above and beyond. They set us at ease saying, “We would want someone to do that for us”. Most people would want it, but still not reach out to help. I hope that those of you reading this will be willing to help and, like us, pay it forward. We’re not going to forget what a difference it made for us. We’re not going to stop being grateful. My daughter and I walked away with no injuries and a rescue team. It was a really, really good day.

My mission, as reflected on the Human Resource Essential home page is:

· To achieve business response to the financial and human toll abuse has on its employees and on the business.

· To produce increasing and lasting bottom line results for client organizations and benefit and improve the lives of employees.

· To end the taboo surrounding discussions of domestic abuse - so we can talk about it, learn about it and end it.

· To encourage understanding of domestic abuse so that attending an awareness program does not signify that we’re victims – but means we want to learn.

· To help us understand that the life we save may be our own – or someone we know.

· To be a part of the circle that helps break the cycle of abuse.

My work with clients is company specific and developed through our ongoing partnership. We address several disciplines within the organization. To evaluate ROI, I utilize several mathematical formulas – so the “proof is in the pudding”. But at the end of the day, the best way for an organization to see the results is to keep culture alive all the time. It’s not going to happen overnight, but it will happen.

How often do we meet someone and give them our 30 second commercial, or as some would call it, “the elevator speech” and get various reactions? Sometimes it’s “Wow, tell me more”, “That’s such important work” and other comments along those lines. Occasionally the comment is, “Better you than me”. And you know, they’re right. It is better me than them. I’m very driven by what I do and have found clear value and ROI to each client I serve.

Why wait for a workplace disaster to take action? Employers have a huge stake in this effort. Victims spend the majority of their time on the job, as do offenders. That gives employers access to people who need help, resources, safety, and financial stability. Employers, in turn are taking an enormous financial toll whether they realize it or not. When we work together and evaluate their financial data it’s an eye opening experience for them. The financial health of an organization affects every other component.

I believe domestic violence can be nearly eradicated from our society. It won’t be easy by any stretch of the imagination, and it won’t happen overnight. As domestic violence occurrences decline, so will many other crimes. We’ll all live safer more secure lives.