That was a statement made by another Human Resources consultant at a networking meeting I recently attended. He wasn’t talking about domestic violence, but that idea really stuck with me. How true is that? We would live in such a different world if we could just prevent abuse to begin with.
Certainly one way would be for people to be far more aware of abusive behaviors and the subtle signs when they first begin to present themselves, especially in the earliest months of a relationship. I know a lot of people who can do that. As soon as certain behaviors and personality types begin to reveal themselves in the person they’re dating they are out of there. Relationship over. You can almost predict what would’ve happened if they’d stayed – and so can they.
But let’s go back a little further. How about preventing the possibility of an abusive personality to begin with? Studies show that boys who grow up within supportive and loving families are less likely to grow up to be abusers. They need to be validated and to feel worthy. They need to be loved and not made to feel ashamed of themselves. Don’t get me wrong. Girls need this too. It’s what makes them less likely to be abusers as well – or to become the victim of an abuser.
It’s not just about avoiding what’s modeled in the home and community, and not watching movies and T.V. shows which depict and condone abuse. It’s what starts with parenting. How kids feel about as a human beings has so much to do with whether they become an abuser later in life. We can end the cycle of abuse, and one of the strongest ways is to start with the youngest members of our communities. Prevention is way better than the cure.
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