Dear readers – This blog ran previously and continues to bring positive impact to readers.  That makes me glad.

Stephanie –

This month of awareness has assisted in bringing together those who work to bring an end to Domestic Violence, as well as move forward legislation to assist victims of domestic violence. As we move forward to October and participate in activities that support in bringing awareness and memorial to this ever present issue, we aid those who are suffering everyday to bring them one step closer to safety, and a healthier life for themselves, and their family. What might be things you can do to stop domestic abuse?

In your place of worship

1. Encourage information about domestic abuse in the congregation’s programs, youth groups, marriage preparation, study groups, etc.

2. Establish a committee to promote awareness of the problem and how the congregation can help.

3. Organize a drive to collect food, toiletries, household goods and other needed items for a local domestic violence service.

In your workplace

4. Display posters or brochures (in break rooms, restrooms, or meeting rooms) to promote awareness of domestic abuse and how to get help.

5. Organize a Brown Bag lunch or other event for co-workers and invite a speaker to talk about solutions to the problem.

6. Ask what policies your employer has developed to keep employees safe from a domestic abuser who threatens the workplace.

In schools and daycare

7. Encourage the editor of the school newspaper to have a special issue about teen dating violence and partner abuse.

8. Write a paper about domestic violence to share with your classmates.

9. Educate teachers and other staff about the connection between child abuse and partner abuse.

In civic organizations, clubs or neighborhoods

10. Invite a speaker to educate organization members about domestic violence.

11. Organize a fundraising event or food/toiletries drive to benefit a domestic violence service agency.

12. Publish information about domestic violence and available resources in the newsletter.

13. “Adopt” a family seeking independence from an abuser, to assist with practical needs.

As a Citizen

14. Ask your local library to stock books on domestic violence and to set up displays to educate the public about the issue.

15. Speak out against domestic abuse: Expressing your view that domestic violence is unacceptable has a powerful effect on changing the norms that support abuse.

16. Write letters to newspaper editors or send commentaries to TV and radio to help raise awareness about domestic violence.

17. Vote for public leaders who take a strong stand against domestic abuse.

18. Call 911 if you see or hear a crime of domestic abuse in progress. Write down license plate numbers, locations, and any other information that may be helpful to law enforcement.

19. Volunteer with a domestic violence service. Organizations need help with office activities, fundraising events, technical and professional services and assistance to clients.

20. Donate used clothing and household goods to a program that gives these vital items to families seeking independence from an abuser.

21. Participate in neighborhood crime watch programs.

Source original for this article: http://www.thepaper247.com/main.asp?SectionID=23&SubSectionID=22&ArticleID=17559&TM=9137.525

bottom line · Brown Bag lunch · business · Coaching · conflict · consulting · costs · crime victim’s rights · depression · domestic abuse · domestic violence in the workplace · domestic violence prevention · employer · lawsuit · leadership development · legal · management · offender · personal safety · relationships · risk · Speak out against domestic abuse · strategic leadership · stress in the workplace · training · victim · violence

Statistics show that:

13% of Americans are likely to have heart disease¹

Almost 20% of Americans are likely to have diabetes¹

One in eight women or 12.6% will have breast cancer¹

One in six men will develop prostate cancer¹

As of 2006, the CDC reports that an estimated 36,828people per 100,000 are infected with HIV²

More than 200,000 people — are unaware they’re infected³

If American adults have come to accept these facts, as the vast majority of them have, then why is it still so hard to accept the fact that 85% of women and 15% of men are victims of abuse?  Just like the above health statistics we understand there are a number of unreported cases so the numbers should be higher that what you see presented.The same is true for domestic violence.Lastly, when you think of the above noted health statistics you know that until someone’s illness is really in advanced stages you will probably never know someone is ill just by looking at them.  The same is undeniably true with domestic abuse.

You don’t know when someone is suffering. You have to have reached a point of trust where the victim is comfortable enough, and feeling safe enough to open up to you. You need to be personally at a point where you understand enough about the dynamics of abuse that you can approach someone you suspect is victimized without jeopardizing their trust and personal safety.

I once had the VP of Human Resources of a very large international organization of 58,000 employees worldwide; boast to me “it doesn’t happen in my company, I never hear about it.”  Well, sadly that’s statistically impossible.  Even more sad was the fact that this VP didn’t have his ear to the ground enough to even know what was going one in his organization.

Do any of your employees exhibit any of the following?

• Become quiet when he/she is around their partner or ex-partner and feel afraid of making him/her angry?
• Cancel plans at the last minute?
• Not have access to money?
• Have their attire dictated to them?
• Stop seeing friends and family members, becoming more and more isolated?
• Explaining bruises to family, coworker’s or friends?

These are only a few of the possible signs of abuse. No one is immune from domestic violence and there are many available resources.  Like the VP of Human Resources I mentioned, you don’t have to see it or hear of it for it to be happening and I’m available to help your organization by visiting:www.hressential.com

Check out other resources too like The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence http://www.ncadv.org/

¹wikianswers.com

²Centers for Disease Control

³Kenneth Mayer of Brown University

bottom line · business · Coaching · company · conflict · consulting · costs · domestic abuse · employees · employer · family · lawsuit · legal · management · offender · personal safety · relationships · risk · training · victim · violence

I like to read the newspaper from cover to cover.  At least to check out the headlines then choose which articles to read.  Yesterday, on the final day of domestic violence Awareness Month, I came across this Letter to the Editor.  It’s written by my friend, Connie Phillips, who is the Executive Director of Sojourner Center, the country’s largest domestic violence shelter, which is right here in Phoenix.

I sent her a congratulatory email, and mentioned that I’d also submitted a letter to the Editor a month ago, which has not yet run.  If it doesn’t, I may just post it here on my Domestic Violence in the Workplace blog.

Check out what a great letter Connie wrote:

Phillips: Law needs to take domestic violence seriously

business · Coaching · conversation · domestic abuse · domestic violence in the workplace · employees · Personal Safety · strategic leadership · victim · violence

Stevie Award Winners to Be Announced in New York on November 11

Tempe, Arizona – Oct. 13, 2011– Human Resource Essential, LLC was named a Finalist in the Best Entrepreneur – Service Businesses – Up to 100 Employees category in the 8th annual Stevie Awards for Women in Business.

The Stevie Awards for Women in Business honor women executives, entrepreneurs, and the companies they run – worldwide.  The Stevie Awards have been hailed as the world’s premier business awards.

Nicknamed the Steviesfor the Greek word “crowned,” winners will be announced during a gala event at the Marriott Marquis Hotel in New York on Friday, November 11.  Nominated women executives and entrepreneurs from the U.S.A and several other countries are expected to attend.   The presentations will be broadcast live on radio in the U.S.A. by the Business TalkRadio Network.

The happy irony for Stephanie Angelo, Founder & CEO, is that her name also means “the crowned one”.

More than 1,300 entries – a record for the competition – were submitted this year for consideration in 75 categories, including Best Executive, Best Entrepreneur, Women Helping Women, and Communications Campaign of the Year.  Human Resource Essential, LLC is a Finalist in the category Best Entrepreneur – Service Businesses – Up to 100 Employees.

The term at a crossroads” typically means that one doesn’t know which way to turn and what to do.  When Stephanie hit a crossroads in her career as an independent consultant, she realized it was really an “intersection”; past abuse as a child meeting with professional experience in HR. Stephanie realized Human Resource and Management were misinformed and often unprepared to handle domestic abuse spillover into the workplace.

“I’m pleased we found a subject matter expert who specifically addresses the complex dynamics of DV in the workplace from the management and human resource perspective.” said Bobbie J. Fox, Esq. of SCF Arizona

Finalists were chosen by business professionals worldwide during preliminary judging.

Members of the six final judging committees will select Stevie Award winners from among the Finalists during final judging.

“Women entrepreneurs and executives continue to innovate, excel, and impress,” said Michael Gallagher, president of the Stevie Awards.  “Regardless of general economic conditions, the achievements of women-owned and –run organizations around the world remain high, and are reflected in this year’s impressive body of Finalists.”

Details about the Stevie Awards for Women in Business and the list of Finalists in all categories are available at www.stevieawards.com/women.

About Human Resource Essential, LLC

Human Resource Essential, LLC, located in Tempe, Arizona pioneered a process which translates domestic abuse to determine the financial impact on organizations. We specialize in delivering intimate partner violence organizational impact and training, management consulting and program support for ongoing change.  Learn more about Human Resource Essential at http://www.hressential.com/

business · Coaching · company · domestic abuse · domestic violence in the workplace · domestic violence prevention · employees · employer · leadership development · management · strategic leadership · training

Cullen Hightower said, “A true measure of your worth includes all the benefits others have gained from your success. “ and I think that is such appropriate response to the number of people who are tied up with what measurement can be taken from domestic violence in the workplace training and consulting.  I have long ago realized that most CEOs and CFOs need to know what will benefit the business bottom line.  So when I talk with them I not only give them national statistics on the business costs of domestic violence; but I give them calculations in 11 different areas from their own workplace.  So if I’m talking with five different companies in one week – that’s five different sets of calculations; they are unique to that organization.

Sometimes an executive really doesn’t care about the numbers; they care about the people first, and that’s really, really cool.  But if numbers matter, I have the information.

What it took me a while to realize was that not one client has asked to measure the ROI after our work – they’re happy enough with what they see as positive and ongoing changes at the organization.  They know from communication with management and staff that employees are going to the prepped and trained management or human resource domestic violence designees when they need help, resources or someone to talk to.

So at the end of the day if they are going to measure for their work in addressing domestic violence in the workplace the “measurable results” are the results they want in improved skills and experience across their leadership team to keep the workplace safe, complaint and productive.

Wouldn’t you call that success?

bottom line · business · Coaching · conversation · domestic abuse · domestic violence in the workplace · management · team work · training · violence

If you’re a Human Resource Executive, or C-level manager, finding the time to learn exactly how this is relevant for you is typically low on the totem pole.  There are simply too many other fires to put out each day.  Sadly, most executives refuse to face the potential harm of domestic violence until it too becomes a “fire” in the workplace.

Human Resource Essential intends to make addressing domestic abuse easier to tackle by producing webinar and webinar based DVD from their highly popular executive overview program “It Doesn’t Make Sense and Its Costing Us Millions”.

As an added benefit, this program has been approved for 1.5 (Specified -Strategic) recertification credit hours toward PHR, SPHR and GPHR recertification through the HR Certification Institute.  So while a Human Resource professional can view the webinar of the DVD at their 24/7 convenience, they will also obtain those ever desirable HRCI credits.

Attendees will:

• learn how the organization is affected
• evaluate violence prevention policies
• review mandated laws
• strengthen legal defense
• learn to increase loss prevention
• identify the real ROI of responding to domestic violence
• explore HR best practices for addressing intimate partner violence

 “I found the webinar to be interesting, thought provoking and content driven, which is unusual because usually they’re boring.  I was glued to the computer and it went so fast”, says Jeanette Abdoo, HR Director for a residential home builder.

 To download the webinar, or purchase the DVD, go toour Website:  http://www.hressential.com/ to the Resources page.

bottom line · business · company · costs · domestic abuse · employees · employer · management · violence

Imagine you’re at a networking event and introducing yourself to someone new.  This person is an executive, C-Suite level individual.  They explain their role in the organization and you can feel their confidence that they assume their respected by their employees as a leader.

Then this person asks you what you do.  Before you answer, you have a fleeting thought, Will this person be intrigued and open to discussion, or will they suddenly get glassy-eyed and feign a friend they “see” across the room they must hurry to talk to as they skitter away?

I’m always fascinated by the people who believe the themselves to be great leaders and yet they flee from dealing with the tougher, “taboo” issues that are part of the human condition.

I believe a true leader is the man or woman who recognizes that even the uncomfortable issues have to be faced head-on – which I call Blending the Human Being with Business Practices™.

A comprehensive, end to end, domestic violence initiative doesn’t require an entire corporate overhaul.  It simply means that with assistance from a subject matter expert you can make small changes at work which result in big changes at home.   Whether you lead a handful of people at a small business or are responsible for hundreds makes no difference.  Clients report steep reductions in workplace incidents, noticeable changes in affected individuals, and clear changes in corporate culture – having a positive ripple effect to every corner of the company.

Yesterday I had the opportunity to speak with a retired US Marine Lieutenant General who said, “Management needs to wake up and smell the coffee!  US businesses are failing because people are failing.  They’re failing because the leaders of corporate America lack the ability to recognize they need to step in and incorporate the human factor into the workplace.”

I found the following definition of leadership on Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leadership) to clarify it so precisely:

“Leadership is ultimately about creating a way for people to contribute to making something extraordinary happen.”   I believe that to do that an effective leader has to get out of his or her comfort zone.  Rather than to just say they believe addressing domestic violence is an important issue they have to demonstrate that it is.  Sometimes that takes a bit of courage as risking popularity among peers.  If you don’t though, where will your organization go?  Will it really compete with organizations that have stellar reputations in the community?  It’s a challenge to accept, to be sure.  And that’s the leader I want to meet at my next networking event.

business · Coaching · company · consulting · domestic abuse · domestic violence in the workplace · domestic violence prevention · employees · employer · lawsuit · leader · leadership development · legal · management · risk · strategic leadership · victim · violence

In January 2010 in Spencer, MA a man facing a foreclosure auction took his own life after shooting and killing his sick wife and their horse, setting fire to their home, and torching his pickup truck.

Advocates voice concerns that vast numbers of women are remaining in abusive relationships out of fear they could not support themselves and their children in the current economic climate.

Studies also show that social support networks may influence DV perpetration and victimization. Women DV survivors typically turn to family and friends for emotional and tangible support, such as temporary housing. The current economic recession may limit the ability of concerned family members and friends to assist DV survivors, resulting in increased strain on battered women’s and homeless shelters and the potential for more DV survivors and their children to experience homelessness. Economic Stress and Domestic Violence by Claire M. Renzetti with contributions from Vivian M. Larkin (September 2009).

In her article posted November 9, 2010, on the link between domestic violence and economic stress Deborah Debare, Executive Director of the Rhode Island Coalition Against Domestic Violence, with whom I had the pleasure of working with when I spoke at their conference in October 2009 said, “We know from experience here in Rhode Island that the numbers of victims of domestic violence are reaching record levels in 2010.  And exacerbating the situation is that many of these victims are experiencing multiple challenges in their efforts to get safe, as they have fewer financial resources and more complex social/emotional problems caused in part by the economic stress in their lives.”

An interesting slat to this issue is the confessions of offenders in court mandated domestic violence classes.  I have been attending as an observer for over a year now.  I attend men’s classes and women’s classes.  I’m seeing a lot of varied demographics and family dynamics.

When a person attends their first class they are asked to tell the facilitator (and the group at large) what occurred in the event that led to police arrest and appearance before a judge.  Later in during the weeks they attend classes they may also do a “thought report” where they walk through step by step every nuance of the fight.

What I’ve seen are countless instances where the fight brewed over someone coming home hours late, a teenage girl spilling nail polish on a carpet and ignoring the mess while she goes out with friends; leaving her frustrated parents to clean up, or married men’s girlfriends sending gift to the couple’s children.

In other words, I hear a whole host of stories of hurt, frustration, betrayal and irrational thinking.  But among them, never a story where the fight brewed over finances.

These offenders are all people who were arrested during a fight where someone was hit, kicked, slapped or possessions where broken.  In these instances all the offenders are misdemeanors.

I recently spoke with Amilia Duchon-Voyles, Executive Director of S.W.A.N Domestic Violence Shelter who said, “There are a lot of money issues.  No access to money is a key issue for women. “  Amilia went on to retell stories she hears from women in her shelter; such as fights breaking out over money when the abuser wants it to fulfill his drug addiction, or she’s now taking control over the money because she’s now the wage earner if he lost his job.  In some cases the woman is trying to create boundaries and he’s resisting them.  In other words, Amilia is hearing a lot of the same things at her shelter as I am in the offender groups.

My research of incarcerated offenders, including the experience of working with Tracy Stombres in writing our book Serrated, has shown the same; it’s fights over sometimes the most common and routine issues in a relationship that go completely out of control that result in violence.

My opinion is this:  this stress full economic time is not causing more violence.  But it’s preventing victims from getting out and severely limiting resources.  Anything you can do to help by donating a few dollars or gently used clothes and household goods – or even an hour listening to someone, will mean more to those that need it than you’ll ever know.

bottom line · business · Coaching · company · conflict · consulting · costs · domestic abuse · domestic violence in the workplace · domestic violence prevention · employees · employer · lawsuit · leadership development · legal · management · offender · Personal Safety · relationships · risk · strategic leadership · training · victim · violence

I’m one of those people that always have dark circles under my eyes.  First of all, I have some Mediterranean heritage so it comes with the territory.  Secondly, I never get enough sleep.  There’s always something bouncing around inside my head keeping me up.  (Some say sleep is over-rated, but seriously, after awhile it’d be nice to catch up on zzzzzsss)  But I digress.  So a couple months ago when I had my head shots re-done I had an opportunity to have a professional makeup artist, Mary, “do my face”.  The results, if you’ve seen my new pix, are really nice.  What made it so great was not only Mary’s expert hand, but the fact that she custom blended the colors for my under-eye concealer and foundation.

That was a first for me.  I’ve spent hundreds and hundreds of dollars over the years trying to find close color matches when I bought makeup at drugs stores and department stores.  I found great makeup a lot of times, but it never quite blended with my skin tones.

The next time I needed foundation and concealer I called Mary.  She recreated the custom blends for the makeup; put the concealer in a little jar and the foundation in a bottle.  This truly was my makeup. And when I wear it, it feels so right.  It works so much better.  And those blends would not be as perfect for anyone else.

Workplace domestic violence policies are no different.  Companies across the U.S., if they even have a policy at all, usually have a Workplace Violence Policy.  They believe it will cover their needs for a domestic violence policy when all they’ve really done is covered up a problem, and not very well.  Unless you have a comprehensive domestic violence policy you are only concealing the problem and you are not fully or realistically, addressing it.

Some elements that should be in a comprehensive domestic violence policy:

• the organization’s moral and ethical stance on domestic violence;
• what the roles and responsibilities of various levels and divisions of management are;
• guidance for employees who are victims;
• language to address offenders and co-workers who assist them;
• corrective and disciplinary action;
• local and national resources;
• applicable state laws and how the organization will comply;
• other applicable company policies

Like my make-up, the concept of things made just for you is probably appealing.  Think of the success Burger King® has had with “Have It Your Way”, custom fabricated golf clubs, cowboy boots, and any of the other hundreds of things that are specially designed for the user.  A domestic violence policy is no different and has the capability to do so much more than just feel right.

Benefits of a comprehensive Domestic Violence Policy

(If these look familiar you’ve probably seen my brochures and web site)

• Reduce time on employee issues
• Mitigate negligent retention/negligent hiring
• Improve corporate image
• Improve lives and safety of employees
• Strengthen legal defense & reduce legal fees
• Increase EAP utilization
• Create a safe environment

bottom line · business · Coaching · company · conflict · consulting · costs · domestic abuse · domestic violence in the workplace · domestic violence prevention · employees · employer · lawsuit · leadership development · legal · management · offender · Personal Safety · relationships · risk · strategic leadership · training · victim · violence

I can’t tell you how often I hear employers say they are cutting back on “soft skills” training or aren’t doing any at all.  “It’s the economy” they say.  Or “We can’t afford it.” I’m here to challenge that.

The biggest siphons to corporate profitability we have are caused by things that aren’t even happening at work.  They’re caused by things that are happening at home.  We have enough statistics out there to support the fact that abuse that happens at home has costly effects at work; in absenteeism, turnover, lost productivity, physical and mental health care costs, employee replacement costs and more.

My friend and colleague, Carl Mangold, LCSW, LISAC once said to me, “You can’t help the victim until you understand the offender.”  I remember that comment struck me like ice water in the face with its reality.   I’d take it even a step further.  I believe that you can’t help the victim until you help the offender.  Now if your first impression was that I mean to assist the offender in perpetrating the abuse, stop right there, because I don’t mean that at all.  Not even close.

When your organization accepts the fact that learning the dynamics, cues and indicators of abuse exhibited by many offenders (and yes, I didn’t say all) then you will be leagues ahead of your competition, and for the most part, the community.  You also have to learn what it takes to create a safe environment for conversation and self disclosure.  You don’t have to be the one to counsel the offender.  You can be the one to lead him, or her, to get help.

There are resources available and offender groups to join.  Who says it has to get to the point where its court mandated?  For lack of anything else available, there are anger management classes or individual therapy.   It’s not the same as offender therapy, but it may dig to the root of the personality problem or disorder.  Again, that’s not for Human Resources or management to take on themselves – but they can sure make referrals.  Learning how to do that is as much a part of leadership development as anything else, like critical thinking workshops and learning how to delegate.

The “soft skills” that it takes management to have that kind of emotional intelligence will pay off in fewer management hours dealing with issues and  incidents that affect the work place. To say the least of thousands of dollars saved in costs associated with abuse.

When it comes to addressing domestic violence in the workplace, management and HR soft skills training should consist of, at minimum:

• Learning detection/warning signs
• Rapport techniques
• How to ask appropriate follow-up questions
• Learning to listen, listen, listen
• How to appropriately refer to your Employee Assistance Provider (EAP)

A study published in 2000 by Abbott Laboratories documented that clients whose Mental Health treatment was managed through an EAP showed annualized savings of $2,200 per year over a 3-year period vs. those clients who were not under an EAP.

It’s not unusual for management to be fearful of domestic violence soft skills training, thinking that it will actually cause them more work.  Nothing is farther from the truth.  Follow-up with clients has proven that they found the result was that it saved them numerous hours in employee one-on-one time, from plain ol’ discussions to corrective action; which of course, saves dollars on the bottom line costs too.  Soft skills training will pay off.  And that’s the hard truth.

bottom line · business · Coaching · company · conflict · consulting · costs · domestic abuse · domestic violence in the workplace · domestic violence prevention · employees · employer · lawsuit · leadership development · legal · management · offender · Personal Safety · relationships · risk · strategic leadership · training · victim · violence