Last weekend I was joyfully out taking photos with my Nikon and attached 70-300 “long” lens.  If you’re familiar with this camera and lens combination, you’ll know that the total weight is almost 1 ½ pounds.  About to drive to a new photo op, I got into my driver’s seat, and lifted the camera off from around my neck by the strap.  But it didn’t go.  That lug of a contraption swung back toward my chest and as I lifted the strap I chunked myself right under the chin. It snapped my jaw shut and sent my upper teeth right through my bottom lip.  Aye yi yi! That hurt!  

“Crud!”  O.K., that’s not really what I said, but you get the gist.  I had no time to waste so I sucked it up (blood included) and continued on my journey.  Fortunately, I was headed to an ice rink.  Great! I could get ice on my lip.  No, not from planting myself face down on the skate surface!  I went to concessions and asked for ice in a napkin.  Clearly the vendor had seen his share of rink accidents; he pulled out a baggy instead and filled it up.  Ahh, relief.  I was mortified though.  My lip was swelling and I resembled a cowboy with a mouthful of chewing tobacco.  To my utter horror, the area below my lip was taking on a deep purple hue.  And I had tickets that night to the theater with a four star dinner beforehand.

I readied myself with one liners for each time I had to explain to someone what happened to my lip.  I just knew people would goggle and stare. “What happened to YOU?” they’d say.  I’d hear it over and over again.

But I didn’t.  In the week’s time that it took for the swelling to subside and the bruise to fade, not one person asked how I’d been hurt.  No one asked if I was O.K.  No one said a thing.  Certainly it can’t be because they were worried about embarrassing me more regarding my lack of grace and coordination. 

Ah, the irony. 

In training, I dialogue with managers and employers about the importance of asking if someone is O.K.  The managers and I spend a significant about of time on skill practices and the pros and cons of various dialogues and questions to ask employees.  Like does the person need assistance finding resources, would they like help getting out? People who are victims of abuse need to know someone cares and they are achingly waiting for someone to reach out and offer an ear of concerned listening.

I’m really lucky; it was my own klutziness that decorated my face with a fat lip.  But what if that wasn’t the case?  Go back to my most previous blog Six Steps to Safe Environments to Ask For Help and read up on talking to someone who is a victim of abuse.  It can make a word of difference to someone.

As for me, my lip is healed, but my pride still hurts.  Maybe I should go back to my little pocket camera.

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