In a program I recently did I received a comment from an attendee “That was an excellent presentation of the issues and what HR professionals should do. Now how do I get pursued my top management to institute your programs?

Wow. The million dollar question. And more commonly asked of me then you would think. The answer is…wait for it…it depends.

It depends because assuming “top management” can all be painted with the same brush and be motivated by the same things is to embark on an endless battle.
While I’m not saying it has to be a battle (though in some cases it seems to have been) you have to look at the many reasons why a top manager might be motivated to institute a program and then address that motivation.

Here below are what I have found to be the top motivators. There is no particular order to the list:

They agree with the principle that if you help the offender you help the victim – and they know the workplace is made up of both.

A couple points to note:
• At least one million women and 371,000 men are victims of stalking in the U.S. each year. Stalkers often follow the victim to the workplace.
• Up to 52% of victims of domestic abuse have lost their jobs because batterers typically engage in behavior that makes it difficult to work.

They are responsible for ensuring State and Federal Compliance.
• The EEOC has issued guidance for employer compliance.
• Occupational safety and health laws generally require employers to maintain a safe workplace, which may include a violence-free workplace.
• The Americans with Disabilities Act or state disabilities laws may require job accommodation of a victim of domestic violence who is or becomes mentally or physically disabled.
• Family and medical leave laws may require employers to grant leave to employees who are coping with serious health conditions resulting from domestic violence situations
They are concerned by and aware of the bottom line costs of domestic violence.
• The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that the annual cost of lost productivity due to domestic violence equals $727.8 million, with more than 7.9 million paid workdays lost each year.
• The national health care costs of domestic violence are high, with direct medical and mental health care services for victims amounting to nearly $4.1 billion.
• Human Resource Essential has developed a proprietary formula which calculates a company’s losses due to domestic violence in 11 separate functional areas of the organization. We provide this breakdown as a service to our clients.

They want to have their or their company’s name attached to something which generates public approval.
• Across the US there are small businesses, corporations, government agencies that are already addressing domestic violence, with great success.
• Some companies that have instituted programs include SCFAZ, Verizon Wireless, Blue Shield of California, and Liz Claiborne, Inc., to name a few.

They have experienced DV in their own lives and or feel deeply that as a public health and community issue it’s the right thing to do.
• Pure and simple – it is. Enlightened executives know they can no longer look the other way.

The above list could go on. I could have lengthy bullets of facts and statistics. What I’ve illustrated above is only a minimal list of the reasons we should address domestic violence in the workplace and the reasons we might motivate an executive to institute a program.

I wish I had a concrete answer for the program attendee who asked that question of me because it was a great one. Some people will never change, the will never care and they will never “stick their neck out” to address the taboo and stigma of domestic violence in order to do something about it.

You know the kind- the ones that don’t have to “buy into it” because they’re already sold.

bottom line · company · domestic violence in the workplace · employees · employer · lawsuit · legal · stalking · strategic leadership

Statistics show that:

13% of Americans are likely to have heart disease¹

Almost 20% of Americans are likely to have diabetes¹

One in eight women or 12.6% will have breast cancer¹

One in six men will develop prostate cancer¹

As of 2006, the CDC reports that an estimated 36,828people per 100,000 are infected with HIV²

More than 200,000 people — are unaware they’re infected³

If American adults have come to accept these facts, as the vast majority of them have, then why is it still so hard to accept the fact that 85% of women and 15% of men are victims of abuse?  Just like the above health statistics we understand there are a number of unreported cases so the numbers should be higher that what you see presented.The same is true for domestic violence.Lastly, when you think of the above noted health statistics you know that until someone’s illness is really in advanced stages you will probably never know someone is ill just by looking at them.  The same is undeniably true with domestic abuse.

You don’t know when someone is suffering. You have to have reached a point of trust where the victim is comfortable enough, and feeling safe enough to open up to you. You need to be personally at a point where you understand enough about the dynamics of abuse that you can approach someone you suspect is victimized without jeopardizing their trust and personal safety.

I once had the VP of Human Resources of a very large international organization of 58,000 employees worldwide; boast to me “it doesn’t happen in my company, I never hear about it.”  Well, sadly that’s statistically impossible.  Even more sad was the fact that this VP didn’t have his ear to the ground enough to even know what was going one in his organization.

Do any of your employees exhibit any of the following?

• Become quiet when he/she is around their partner or ex-partner and feel afraid of making him/her angry?
• Cancel plans at the last minute?
• Not have access to money?
• Have their attire dictated to them?
• Stop seeing friends and family members, becoming more and more isolated?
• Explaining bruises to family, coworker’s or friends?

These are only a few of the possible signs of abuse. No one is immune from domestic violence and there are many available resources.  Like the VP of Human Resources I mentioned, you don’t have to see it or hear of it for it to be happening and I’m available to help your organization by visiting:www.hressential.com

Check out other resources too like The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence http://www.ncadv.org/

¹wikianswers.com

²Centers for Disease Control

³Kenneth Mayer of Brown University

bottom line · business · Coaching · company · conflict · consulting · costs · domestic abuse · employees · employer · family · lawsuit · legal · management · offender · personal safety · relationships · risk · training · victim · violence

Stevie Award Winners to Be Announced in New York on November 11

Tempe, Arizona – Oct. 13, 2011– Human Resource Essential, LLC was named a Finalist in the Best Entrepreneur – Service Businesses – Up to 100 Employees category in the 8th annual Stevie Awards for Women in Business.

The Stevie Awards for Women in Business honor women executives, entrepreneurs, and the companies they run – worldwide.  The Stevie Awards have been hailed as the world’s premier business awards.

Nicknamed the Steviesfor the Greek word “crowned,” winners will be announced during a gala event at the Marriott Marquis Hotel in New York on Friday, November 11.  Nominated women executives and entrepreneurs from the U.S.A and several other countries are expected to attend.   The presentations will be broadcast live on radio in the U.S.A. by the Business TalkRadio Network.

The happy irony for Stephanie Angelo, Founder & CEO, is that her name also means “the crowned one”.

More than 1,300 entries – a record for the competition – were submitted this year for consideration in 75 categories, including Best Executive, Best Entrepreneur, Women Helping Women, and Communications Campaign of the Year.  Human Resource Essential, LLC is a Finalist in the category Best Entrepreneur – Service Businesses – Up to 100 Employees.

The term at a crossroads” typically means that one doesn’t know which way to turn and what to do.  When Stephanie hit a crossroads in her career as an independent consultant, she realized it was really an “intersection”; past abuse as a child meeting with professional experience in HR. Stephanie realized Human Resource and Management were misinformed and often unprepared to handle domestic abuse spillover into the workplace.

“I’m pleased we found a subject matter expert who specifically addresses the complex dynamics of DV in the workplace from the management and human resource perspective.” said Bobbie J. Fox, Esq. of SCF Arizona

Finalists were chosen by business professionals worldwide during preliminary judging.

Members of the six final judging committees will select Stevie Award winners from among the Finalists during final judging.

“Women entrepreneurs and executives continue to innovate, excel, and impress,” said Michael Gallagher, president of the Stevie Awards.  “Regardless of general economic conditions, the achievements of women-owned and –run organizations around the world remain high, and are reflected in this year’s impressive body of Finalists.”

Details about the Stevie Awards for Women in Business and the list of Finalists in all categories are available at www.stevieawards.com/women.

About Human Resource Essential, LLC

Human Resource Essential, LLC, located in Tempe, Arizona pioneered a process which translates domestic abuse to determine the financial impact on organizations. We specialize in delivering intimate partner violence organizational impact and training, management consulting and program support for ongoing change.  Learn more about Human Resource Essential at http://www.hressential.com/

business · Coaching · company · domestic abuse · domestic violence in the workplace · domestic violence prevention · employees · employer · leadership development · management · strategic leadership · training

If you’re a Human Resource Executive, or C-level manager, finding the time to learn exactly how this is relevant for you is typically low on the totem pole.  There are simply too many other fires to put out each day.  Sadly, most executives refuse to face the potential harm of domestic violence until it too becomes a “fire” in the workplace.

Human Resource Essential intends to make addressing domestic abuse easier to tackle by producing webinar and webinar based DVD from their highly popular executive overview program “It Doesn’t Make Sense and Its Costing Us Millions”.

As an added benefit, this program has been approved for 1.5 (Specified -Strategic) recertification credit hours toward PHR, SPHR and GPHR recertification through the HR Certification Institute.  So while a Human Resource professional can view the webinar of the DVD at their 24/7 convenience, they will also obtain those ever desirable HRCI credits.

Attendees will:

• learn how the organization is affected
• evaluate violence prevention policies
• review mandated laws
• strengthen legal defense
• learn to increase loss prevention
• identify the real ROI of responding to domestic violence
• explore HR best practices for addressing intimate partner violence

 “I found the webinar to be interesting, thought provoking and content driven, which is unusual because usually they’re boring.  I was glued to the computer and it went so fast”, says Jeanette Abdoo, HR Director for a residential home builder.

 To download the webinar, or purchase the DVD, go toour Website:  http://www.hressential.com/ to the Resources page.

bottom line · business · company · costs · domestic abuse · employees · employer · management · violence

Every day is an opportunity to actively prevent and stop the silent epidemic of domestic violence and abuse.  And certainly Mother’s Day is a chance to remember how important all women, whether she’s a mother or not, are to our communities. 

Did you know?

• One in four women has experienced domestic violence in her lifetime.
• Every 3 days, an Arizonan loses his/her life as a result of domestic violence.
• 50% of all calls to 911 relate to domestic violence.
• 10,000 women and children stay in Arizona’s domestic violence shelters each year.
• Domestic violence is present in every culture, class, education and income level, ethnicity, sexual orientation and age.

“The invisibility of mothers and the issues that most effect mothers’ lives both reflects and perpetuates our society’s undervaluing of mothers – an undervaluing that allows men’s violence against them to continue unrecognized, unaddressed, and unabated.” (Source: www.stopfamilyviolence.org)

You can help by addressing domestic violence and abuse, starting at your place of business.  It’s good for you, good for the economy; good for your communities; and certainly good for the people of Arizona. 

Additional resources are available through:

Arizona Coalition Against Domestic Violence
Legal Advocacy Hotline
602-279-2900/800-782-6400

National Domestic Violence 24/7 Hotline

1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or

1-800-787-3224 (TTY)

Stephanie Angelo’s passion is guiding business through her process that translates domestic abuse to determine the financial impact on organizations. With her step by step approach, Stephanie guarantees her clients will understand the dynamics of abuse, how to effectively and appropriately help employees, and create safer, healthier and legally compliant organizations.  Learn more at www.hressential.com

company · conflict · consulting · conversation · crime victim’s rights · Domestic Violence · domestic violence in the workplace

When I was a little girl, my older brother, who was always a goofball (just look at that picture will ya!) sometimes pretended to fly like Superman, jumping from couch to chair with a makeshift cape over his shoulders.  I was ten years old the first time I really saw him fly.  That was when my mother’s boyfriend launched him from the living room to the dining room – where he crashed to the floor in a heap.  My brother wasn’t trying to be a superhero, but he was trying to stop this man from hurting our mother.

The boyfriend came and went over the next six years, finally disappearing when I was sixteen. Each time he left my relief was immense. Each time he came back my disappointment was crushing.

My brother and I used to take long walks at night just to get out of the house. I remember one night crunching through snow in five-degree-below-zero weather trying to figure out how we could become emancipated at the ages of twelve and fourteen. Our options looked pretty grim so we dropped the idea and waited for the years to go by till we could be free.

When you’re a kid living with abuse in the home it’s like living on an earth quake’s fault line. You never know when the ground is going to come out from under you. Nothing is safe or secure.  You never know who’s next or what will set it off. You don’t want friends over because something might happen when they’re there.  There’s no one to talk to.  You hold your breath – all the time.  (From my book Battered and Abused, Bringing the Darkness into the Light)

Domestic violence affects every member of the family, including the children. Family violence creates a home environment where children live in constant fear.

Children who witness family violence are affected in ways similar to children who are physically abused. They are often unable to establish nurturing bonds with either parent Children are at greater risk for abuse and neglect if they live in a violent home.

Statistics show that over 3 million children witness violence in their home each year. Those who see and hear violence in the home suffer physically and emotionally.

“Families under stress produce children under stress. If a spouse is being abused and there are children in the home, the children are affected by the abuse.” (Ackerman and Pickering, 1989)

Research shows without question that children will react in different ways.  Variables are due to the child’s gender, age, what they witnessed, if there was someone giving them appropriate love and support, and other factors.  Still children exposed to family violence are more likely to develop social, emotional, psychological and or behavioral problems than those who aren’t.  They experience, lower self-esteem, depression, health issues, growth and development problems.  They may avoid going to school, and once there are often too distracted to do well.  Interviews with teachers have indicated that they are often spending significant time with children with these issues, to the detriment of the other students.

When employers provide resources, support systems and counseling services to their workforce they do a tremendous service to their employees to show they care.  Since often times the workplace is the only possible source of information for an employee who’s every action is monitored by a controlling partner, you can imagine how great it is to be able to find resources for help at the workplace.

Employers who have a qualified Employee Assistance Provider (EAP) in house, or on contract, prove to their employees that they aren’t just blowing smoke in terms of being employee friendly.  They’re walking the talk.  And it comes back to them tenfold in a loyal workforce.  That’s when the employer is the real superhero.

collaboration · company · domestic violence prevention · employees · employer · family · instincts · lawsuit · leadership development · legal · management · training

Imagine you’re at a networking event and introducing yourself to someone new.  This person is an executive, C-Suite level individual.  They explain their role in the organization and you can feel their confidence that they assume their respected by their employees as a leader.

Then this person asks you what you do.  Before you answer, you have a fleeting thought, Will this person be intrigued and open to discussion, or will they suddenly get glassy-eyed and feign a friend they “see” across the room they must hurry to talk to as they skitter away?

I’m always fascinated by the people who believe the themselves to be great leaders and yet they flee from dealing with the tougher, “taboo” issues that are part of the human condition.

I believe a true leader is the man or woman who recognizes that even the uncomfortable issues have to be faced head-on – which I call Blending the Human Being with Business Practices™.

A comprehensive, end to end, domestic violence initiative doesn’t require an entire corporate overhaul.  It simply means that with assistance from a subject matter expert you can make small changes at work which result in big changes at home.   Whether you lead a handful of people at a small business or are responsible for hundreds makes no difference.  Clients report steep reductions in workplace incidents, noticeable changes in affected individuals, and clear changes in corporate culture – having a positive ripple effect to every corner of the company.

Yesterday I had the opportunity to speak with a retired US Marine Lieutenant General who said, “Management needs to wake up and smell the coffee!  US businesses are failing because people are failing.  They’re failing because the leaders of corporate America lack the ability to recognize they need to step in and incorporate the human factor into the workplace.”

I found the following definition of leadership on Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leadership) to clarify it so precisely:

“Leadership is ultimately about creating a way for people to contribute to making something extraordinary happen.”   I believe that to do that an effective leader has to get out of his or her comfort zone.  Rather than to just say they believe addressing domestic violence is an important issue they have to demonstrate that it is.  Sometimes that takes a bit of courage as risking popularity among peers.  If you don’t though, where will your organization go?  Will it really compete with organizations that have stellar reputations in the community?  It’s a challenge to accept, to be sure.  And that’s the leader I want to meet at my next networking event.

business · Coaching · company · consulting · domestic abuse · domestic violence in the workplace · domestic violence prevention · employees · employer · lawsuit · leader · leadership development · legal · management · risk · strategic leadership · victim · violence

In January 2010 in Spencer, MA a man facing a foreclosure auction took his own life after shooting and killing his sick wife and their horse, setting fire to their home, and torching his pickup truck.

Advocates voice concerns that vast numbers of women are remaining in abusive relationships out of fear they could not support themselves and their children in the current economic climate.

Studies also show that social support networks may influence DV perpetration and victimization. Women DV survivors typically turn to family and friends for emotional and tangible support, such as temporary housing. The current economic recession may limit the ability of concerned family members and friends to assist DV survivors, resulting in increased strain on battered women’s and homeless shelters and the potential for more DV survivors and their children to experience homelessness. Economic Stress and Domestic Violence by Claire M. Renzetti with contributions from Vivian M. Larkin (September 2009).

In her article posted November 9, 2010, on the link between domestic violence and economic stress Deborah Debare, Executive Director of the Rhode Island Coalition Against Domestic Violence, with whom I had the pleasure of working with when I spoke at their conference in October 2009 said, “We know from experience here in Rhode Island that the numbers of victims of domestic violence are reaching record levels in 2010.  And exacerbating the situation is that many of these victims are experiencing multiple challenges in their efforts to get safe, as they have fewer financial resources and more complex social/emotional problems caused in part by the economic stress in their lives.”

An interesting slat to this issue is the confessions of offenders in court mandated domestic violence classes.  I have been attending as an observer for over a year now.  I attend men’s classes and women’s classes.  I’m seeing a lot of varied demographics and family dynamics.

When a person attends their first class they are asked to tell the facilitator (and the group at large) what occurred in the event that led to police arrest and appearance before a judge.  Later in during the weeks they attend classes they may also do a “thought report” where they walk through step by step every nuance of the fight.

What I’ve seen are countless instances where the fight brewed over someone coming home hours late, a teenage girl spilling nail polish on a carpet and ignoring the mess while she goes out with friends; leaving her frustrated parents to clean up, or married men’s girlfriends sending gift to the couple’s children.

In other words, I hear a whole host of stories of hurt, frustration, betrayal and irrational thinking.  But among them, never a story where the fight brewed over finances.

These offenders are all people who were arrested during a fight where someone was hit, kicked, slapped or possessions where broken.  In these instances all the offenders are misdemeanors.

I recently spoke with Amilia Duchon-Voyles, Executive Director of S.W.A.N Domestic Violence Shelter who said, “There are a lot of money issues.  No access to money is a key issue for women. “  Amilia went on to retell stories she hears from women in her shelter; such as fights breaking out over money when the abuser wants it to fulfill his drug addiction, or she’s now taking control over the money because she’s now the wage earner if he lost his job.  In some cases the woman is trying to create boundaries and he’s resisting them.  In other words, Amilia is hearing a lot of the same things at her shelter as I am in the offender groups.

My research of incarcerated offenders, including the experience of working with Tracy Stombres in writing our book Serrated, has shown the same; it’s fights over sometimes the most common and routine issues in a relationship that go completely out of control that result in violence.

My opinion is this:  this stress full economic time is not causing more violence.  But it’s preventing victims from getting out and severely limiting resources.  Anything you can do to help by donating a few dollars or gently used clothes and household goods – or even an hour listening to someone, will mean more to those that need it than you’ll ever know.

bottom line · business · Coaching · company · conflict · consulting · costs · domestic abuse · domestic violence in the workplace · domestic violence prevention · employees · employer · lawsuit · leadership development · legal · management · offender · Personal Safety · relationships · risk · strategic leadership · training · victim · violence

Now that the book is out, people are asking me why I wrote Serrated.  It’s a good question, since from most people’s perspective, doing an enormous project like writing a true crime memoir for someone else, is such a diversion from my usual work.  And it years to complete.  The hours spent devoted to the writing, rewriting, research, formatting and making all the business arrangements for publication often took me away from my own consulting and training work.  There’s no doubt that in some ways my business suffered.   I spent countless hours interviewing Tracy Stombres, collecting stories and documents in order to distill it all down to a volume that would capture that reader’s attention and create an emotional response.

I wrote Serrated for two reasons.  There’s no doubt Tracy’s is a story that must be told.  And also because it really does have a connection to the work I do.  The reason Tracy and I met in the first place is because I was doing a project for my work.  I was writing a book for employers and survivors that blended personal stories with national resources.  It was in the process of collecting the survivor perspectives for Battered and Abused – Bringing the Darkness into the Light, that Tracy contacted me.

Tracy worked two jobs during her marriage.  At neither one did she have people she felt she could talk to about what was happening in her life.  No one approached her and expressed concern either.  There weren’t resources offered.  There wasn’t an alternate schedule offered.  There wasn’t someone to encourage Tracy about her self worth or other possibilities and choices about her relationship.

On the fateful day when her husband came to the workplace and argued with Tracy about the assumed affair, no one reached out to her and offered assistance.  Tracy also told me she did not feel comfortable asking for help.  Had the workplace been trained and prepared for domestic violence there’s a good possibility that whole situation could have been mitigated.

There’s a chance that Tracy could have been referred to an Employee Assistance Provider (EAP) or other counseling services that could help her talk about her life, her fears and her options.  It’s possible that Frank might have been referred to the EAP or other resources.  He needed someone to hear him and let him vent.  It could have mitigated his anger and given him choices; like maybe an ongoing offender therapy group.  A life could have been saved and others may not have endured the physical and emotional pain that will last forever.

My life’s work is all about leadership and domestic violence training.  That’s why I pioneered a business case for addressing domestic abuse.  The intent is twofold.  One is to have organizations understand the business – or bottom line costs of domestic abuse and it’s affect on the financial health of the organization. The other reason is for employees, whether victims or offenders of abuse, to be able to reach out to their employers and ask for, and get the help they need; and managers will be “in tune” enough with the dynamics of abuse to detect the cues and offer help appropriately and effectively.  There’s even a clip on You Tube with me talking about that to a group of managers.

It’s always been my dream to create corporate cultures which don’t condone and ignore abuse.  I want organizations to stop thinking they’re immune, just ‘cause they “never hear about it”, as one executive told me.

I had a conversation with Tracy once about a client company that contacted me because they had an employee who was “obviously” a victim due to visible bruising and a significant other that was showing up at the workplace.  The woman refused to talk with the human resources manager so they asked me to step in.  Tracy’s words were “do it”, it could make all the difference in the world.  I did meet with the client’s employee and management.  I’m happy to say it changed everything for them.

Tracy told me she wished she’d had someone to talk to.  It might have made all the difference in the world.  Hear her say it in her own words.

That’s why I wrote Serrated.

company · conflict · consulting · costs · domestic abuse · domestic violence in the workplace · domestic violence prevention · employees · employer · leadership development · management · offender · relationships · strategic leadership · training · violence

I’m one of those people that always have dark circles under my eyes.  First of all, I have some Mediterranean heritage so it comes with the territory.  Secondly, I never get enough sleep.  There’s always something bouncing around inside my head keeping me up.  (Some say sleep is over-rated, but seriously, after awhile it’d be nice to catch up on zzzzzsss)  But I digress.  So a couple months ago when I had my head shots re-done I had an opportunity to have a professional makeup artist, Mary, “do my face”.  The results, if you’ve seen my new pix, are really nice.  What made it so great was not only Mary’s expert hand, but the fact that she custom blended the colors for my under-eye concealer and foundation.

That was a first for me.  I’ve spent hundreds and hundreds of dollars over the years trying to find close color matches when I bought makeup at drugs stores and department stores.  I found great makeup a lot of times, but it never quite blended with my skin tones.

The next time I needed foundation and concealer I called Mary.  She recreated the custom blends for the makeup; put the concealer in a little jar and the foundation in a bottle.  This truly was my makeup. And when I wear it, it feels so right.  It works so much better.  And those blends would not be as perfect for anyone else.

Workplace domestic violence policies are no different.  Companies across the U.S., if they even have a policy at all, usually have a Workplace Violence Policy.  They believe it will cover their needs for a domestic violence policy when all they’ve really done is covered up a problem, and not very well.  Unless you have a comprehensive domestic violence policy you are only concealing the problem and you are not fully or realistically, addressing it.

Some elements that should be in a comprehensive domestic violence policy:

• the organization’s moral and ethical stance on domestic violence;
• what the roles and responsibilities of various levels and divisions of management are;
• guidance for employees who are victims;
• language to address offenders and co-workers who assist them;
• corrective and disciplinary action;
• local and national resources;
• applicable state laws and how the organization will comply;
• other applicable company policies

Like my make-up, the concept of things made just for you is probably appealing.  Think of the success Burger King® has had with “Have It Your Way”, custom fabricated golf clubs, cowboy boots, and any of the other hundreds of things that are specially designed for the user.  A domestic violence policy is no different and has the capability to do so much more than just feel right.

Benefits of a comprehensive Domestic Violence Policy

(If these look familiar you’ve probably seen my brochures and web site)

• Reduce time on employee issues
• Mitigate negligent retention/negligent hiring
• Improve corporate image
• Improve lives and safety of employees
• Strengthen legal defense & reduce legal fees
• Increase EAP utilization
• Create a safe environment

bottom line · business · Coaching · company · conflict · consulting · costs · domestic abuse · domestic violence in the workplace · domestic violence prevention · employees · employer · lawsuit · leadership development · legal · management · offender · Personal Safety · relationships · risk · strategic leadership · training · victim · violence