TAG | domestic abuse
2014 – Stephanie Angelo introduces March Madness Offers
10 for 500 webinar
What is it? You have up to 10 people on a 90 minute live webinar of your choice from the list below for only $500.
Here’s what you do:
Webinar must be scheduled and prepaid by March 31st. You can have the webinar at a later date.
You may have between 1- 15 additional attendees for $15 each.
If the webinar is one of our HRCI pre-approved webinars, each attendee will receive a certificate of 1.5 recertification credit upon completion.
Webinars on this offer:
- It Doesn’t Make Sense and Its Costing Us Millions (read more here) (HRCI Preapproved)
- It Happened at Home- It Cost Us at Work (read more here) (HRCI Preapproved)
- 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover and Other Myths about Domestic Violence (read more here)
Or 6 for 500 consulting
What is it? You have 6 hours of telephone or Skype consulting with me on domestic violence/workplace safety issues.
Here’s what you do:
Calls must be scheduled and prepaid by March 31st.
The calls are one on one. You may not have another individual present and calls are not recorded.
Contact us now for details and scheduling.
It not only makes good business sense, it will bring about real change in your business, your community and broader humanity.
She scraped up every bit of resources she had to bail him out of jail. She just couldn’t see telling him to spend the night in there even though he’d said, “It’s OK mom. I’ll be fine.”
The boy, just barely in his 20s had had a fight with his ex-girlfriend, a girl known for being a verbally and emotionally abusive woman. She called him to her apartment to repair her broken down car. She kicked him and beat him on anyplace she could reach, and though the boy was leaving the building her new boyfriend took over attacking him. The boy’s injuries were relatively minor, but there were cuts and bruises; and he looked scrappy, ragged and unkempt.
When the girl called police and cried that he’d hit her they thought he looked every bit the part of an abusive boyfriend. They arrested him. It cost his mom a couple thousand dollars, and several days to bail him out and have an attorney untangle her son and close the case.
The full story is long and detailed. What the mom was looking for was guidance and feedback. She told me, “I never thought it’d be my son who was abused. I guess I always assumed it would be the girls – because they’re girls. You never consider that your son would be in an abusive relationship!”
We peeled off the layers of dynamics of abuse, perceptions, misconceptions and next steps, like prying off the skin of an aging onion. By the end of our meeting she was relaxed and able to return to work with the same level of attention to detail and customer service her employer found so dependable.
And her employer? Happy. They knew that they’d provided their staff member with an outside resource during a time when she was tense, confused, and feeling alone.
It’s one of the elements of my work I enjoy the most in the close bond of relationships I have with my clients, all of whom I’d consider supportive employers.
And even though her employer had to do so little – they did so much.
I’m always happy to talk with you about improving your domestic violence initiative and coaching sessions with employees like the one discussed above. Just give me a call at (480) 726-9833 or send an email to Stephanie@hressential.com. I’d love to hear from you.
People who’ve had conversations with me often hear me say, “I live, sleep, eat, breathe domestic violence”. Meaning it’s what I do.
Ha! Thought you caught me- silly people! It’s not what I do. I don’t perpetrated it! It’s what I do, what I am, and what I have a passion for as a Consultant Subject Matter Expert – SME.
Even in company Train the Trainer situations the trained individual will lack the in-depth, expertise, knowledge and experience of the SME. Worse yet, they may have personal biases to the issue. They may not be able to answer challenging questions or handle uncomfortable situations. Their facts and statistics may be out of date; all of which may be reflected in the training itself, the outcome for attendees and long term results for the company.
To bring, or keep, an in-house trainer up-to-speed will cost time and money that detracts from their regular duties. All of that is moot when you bring in an SME whose career is based on:
- being a problem solver to make an immediate impact with minimal ramp-up time,
- lowers the client’s risk by conveying correct information,
- is a valuable information resource and provides a wealth of knowledge and support to clients,
- may serve as liaison to the functional area from which they obtained their expertise or adjacent resources and industries (i.e. Human Resource Essential’s long-term relationships with EAPs, attorneys and shelters),
- an SME will have strong expertise in one or more areas directly related to their subject,
- SMEs are often the “go to” people for assistance and up-to-date information on policies, processes, and critical incidents – for example, our clients are comfortable, and even prefer, their employees contact us directly for information and a place to voice personal issues.
Do you expect your in-house trainer to live, sleep, eat, and breathe domestic violence?
SMEs have a passion for their work. When it comes to something as emotionally demanding as domestic violence – how the material is conveyed will make a significant difference in the outcome.
I’m always happy to talk with you about improving your domestic violence initiative. Just give me a call at (480) 726-9833 or send an email to Stephanie@hressential.com. I’d love to hear from you.
The standing woman’s back was to me. She bent towards the man, adjusting the blanket around his shoulders, tucking it into his collar to protect him from the cold. Then she leaned in and kissed him.
It was one of the sweetest things to witness. I was driving past the couple who were waiting at the bus stop. Not a pair of teenagers, not a mother with a toddler either. It was a middle-aged woman and an elderly man – and he was in a wheel chair.
Who were these people? Was it a woman with her husband? A daughter with her father? A hired care-giver, even?
The memory of the gentle gesture sticks with me to this day. A wonderful thing to witness, particularly for its rarity. It’s not like they expected witnesses. Just a special moment in time.
More than 34 million unpaid caregivers provide care to an adult who is ill or has a disability, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. About 83 percent are family caregivers, unpaid individuals providing care for a relative.
In my line of work I’m always alert for the opposite of what I saw. My antennae is wired for signs of Elder Abuse.
Elder Abuse takes many forms: Physical, Emotional, Financial (misuse, or concealment of funds, property, or assets), Neglect or Abandonment.
I’ll write more about that in a future blog, so please stay tuned.
But for now, just share the sweet mental picture of this woman’s gentle and loving care for someone who was counting on her. And she didn’t let him down.
I’m always happy to talk with you about Elder Abuse, Domestic Violence and prevention. Just give me a call at (480) 726-9833 or send an email to Stephanie@hressential.com. I’d love to hear from you.
Not an hour ago I was at a Starbucks with a friend and fellow business consultant. He asked me what my goals were for this year. One of them, I told him, was for tragic crimes of domestic violence to come to a screaming halt. I want domestic violence to lose its taboo and for people to see and accept that it’s affecting their lives. Especially the perpetrators. Because if you help them, you help the victims too.
What I came home to in the newspaper was a profound reminder of exactly what I’m talking about. If you haven’t seen what was in today’s paper, take a look:
When we have a robust and ongoing discussion about domestic violence and every workplace in our state mandates training and policies then the outcome is quite simply more people who see themselves edging towards the emotional cliff. Killing or permanently harming those we love because the relationship isn’t working out is a horrifically permanent “solution” to a temporary problem. Relationships end. It’s a fact of life. It’s hard. I get it. But life WILL go on and it WILL get better. And you don’t have to go through it alone. There are so many resources available. Need to know more about them? Let me know. I’m happy to help.
Jan 2, 2014
Two sisters were found dead in a Tolleson home on Wednesday after police said they were slain by their father in a murder-suicide. Meanwhile, police in Phoenix arrested a father on suspicion of first-degree murder. Authorities said they believe he killed his 13-year-old son with an ax on Tuesday. (Read the articles)
(Source: Arizona Republic/AZCentral)
Jan 2, 2014
(Read the article) (Source: Arizona Republic/AZCentral)
I’m always happy to talk with you about improving your domestic violence initiative. Just give me a call at (480) 726-9833 or send an email to Stephanie@hressential.com. I’d love to hear from you. And you’d be helping me achieve my goal.
On November 7th I had the privilege of being a Table Host at the annual Sojourner Center Hope Luncheon, the Center’s biggest fundraiser and awareness event of the year. Approximately 1,000 people attended the luncheon at the Fairmont Princess Resort in Scottsdale, AZ.
For many, this was the first opportunity to meet Sojourner’s new Executive Director, Maria Garay, MSW. PhD. Dr. Garay’s short speech, that afternoon, was enlightening, heartfelt and inspirational. I can tell you from the few times I’ve had the pleasure to spend time talking with her, she is a truly remarkable person.
I had invited several people who are near and dear to my heart; friends and colleagues whom I thought would enjoy the event and care deeply about the issue of domestic violence in our state. My guests were:
Bobbie Fox, Esq., SCF Arizona https://www.scfaz.com
Terrie Kolker, Hayden & Hayden Insurance http://www.haydenagency.net/
Carl Mangold, LCSW, LISAC Partner in www.TheDVU.com
Deila Mangold, Community Member
Lisa Pressman, singer/songwriter http://tiny.cc/zvwrsw
Tim Ponzek, singer/songwriter
Laura Lawless Robertson, Atty. Squire Sanders www.squiresanders.com
Julie Bernal, Community Member
Cara Lind, Regional Dir. Metabolic Research
Sojourner Center is still in need of on-going support. You can make that happen with your donation, including the Working Poor Tax Credit. It’s is easy and costs you nothing!
Simply make a donation to Sojourner Center by December 31, 2013, up to $200 per individual or $400 per couple, and include AZDOR Form 321 when you file your 2013 AZ state income tax.
There are several other ways to donate as well. All the necessary links can be found here: http://www.sojournercenter.org/go2/donate-mainmenu-42/make-a-donation.html
Plus, you can make the Working Poor Tax Credit even if you’ve done other tax credits for example, to your child’s soccer program. Talk to your accountant or CPA.
Thanks for all you can do to help!
To my readers: I have the humbling privilege to know Dr. Maria Garay, Sojourner Center’s new Executive Director. Together we are creating energizing, meaningful initiatives to address relationship violence. Recently Sojourner published a newsletter to introduce Maria to the community and she has generously allowed me to post her newsletter for you.
Dear Friends & Supporters,
My name is Dr. Maria Garay and I am so excited to be joining the Sojourner Center team as the new Executive Director. I come to Phoenix from Los Angeles, CA and have been working at the executive level for the past twenty years in the human services field. I have been at Sojourner Center since the beginning of September and can already see how special and amazing this place is. I am honored to be a part of this wonderful organization, with its rich history and mission of helping women and children overcome the impact of domestic violence.
You see, ending the cycle of domestic violence is something I am very passionate about. While this is a multi-faceted problem without an easy or clear solution, I believe Sojourner Center has and is ending the cycle of violence for the women and children we serve. I believe you can help us break the cycle of violence too, by talking about this issue and the work we are doing, with your friends, family, and coworkers. A recent study revealed that despite 80% of Americans acknowledging that domestic violence is a problem in our society, only 15% think it is a problem among their friends. We know this can’t be true, since studies show 1-in-4 women will be a victim of domestic violence in her lifetime.
This widespread silence is a problem for many reasons. First, it makes domestic violence victims feel isolated and alone. Second, the silence perpetuates the shame and embarrassment that domestic violence victims might feel. Third, by not talking about it, people don’t always know how to recognize abuse or how to help someone who is being abused.
Let’s break the silence about domestic violence and make it easier for victims to get the help and support they need.
I also want to make sure you know about two very important numbers. The first is easy to remember, 2-1-1. This is a 24-hour bilingual hotline that will connect people in crisis with domestic violence and homeless shelters throughout Arizona. The second is 602-244-0089, this is Sojourner Center’s 24-hour crisis line. We are available day or night to talk to anyone who may be in crisis have questions about domestic violence, or need help planning how to leave an abusive relationship. I hope you will put these numbers in a safe place where you can find them and share them if you ever need to.
Thank you all for your continued support and partnership with this amazing organization. Together, we can end the cycle of domestic violence for every woman and child we serve.
It was nothing short of the moment I’d been waiting for- for years. Finally the opportunity to do a presentation overseas. For me, this proud first international presentation took place in Stuttgart, Germany.
How lucky is that?
Initially I had offered two different outlines from my most requested presentations; “It Happened at Home, It Cost Us at Work” and “It Doesn’t Make Sense, and It’s Costing Us Millions”.
The president of the hosting organization asked for a blend of the two, plus discussion points of additional areas of interest for his audience.
It is completely normal for me to do extensive research before a presentation. Presentations in states, other than my home state of Arizona, require additional research; and it was certainly no different when I did research for Germany.
The research was meant to show attendees the prevalence of domestic violence in Germany, illustrate gender differences and parallels, sources of information on DV services and compare the above mentioned to the same statistics in the United States.
I created an 8 question survey with versions in German and in English that could be answered anonymously through Survey Monkey. The survey links were distributed in all communications about my upcoming presentation.
There was a shift in the room – a physical reaction of the audience when I revealed my research and the results of their survey responses. I heard, “Oh my God.” “That’s surprising.” and “I had no idea it was that much!”
My research showed that Germany’s overall rate of domestic violence is approximately only 2% lower than America’s. To break it down a bit, in the U.S. statistics show that of all victims, 85% are female and 15% are male. In Germany I found 87% female and 13% male. The German people I spoke to prior to my arrival assumed that their country had a very low rate compared to the U.S., the research exposed the truth – that by comparison there wasn’t much of a comparison.
I also specialize in process which translates domestic abuse to determine the financial impact on organizations. When I showed the costs and comparisons to German businesses there was a brief moment where time seemed to stop. Then an uncomfortable resettling into seats. An attendee said afterwards,
“Domestic violence is often view as a “women’s issue”. I find it extremely important to get more men involved, informed and proactive against domestic violence. By presenting this topic based on the financial aspects of how domestic violence affects the workplace is a very good beginning for breaking down these boundaries and giving the male dominated business community a bit of “food for thought.”
If you check any thesaurus another word for “shift” is “change” and if my presentation could prompt that in Stuttgart, or any German city, or anywhere in the world; it will be a move away from complacency, and the taboos of “private” matter and “women’s issue”, to one that affects every one of us. Because we all share this earth.
As a subject matter expert, Stephanie has set a new standard for working with corporate leaders who are often not aware of the deep costs their company is experiencing as a result of this social issue. The rewarding outcome is workplaces that are safe, supportive and sought-after.
It would be great to not say, “Here we go again”. But here we are “Fort Thomas shooting victim denied restraining order months before attempted murder-suicide”
Another person gunned down for the crime of ending a relationship. Another family mourning the loss.
Another person convinced that they have nothing left to lose and are entitled to possessing another human being, turns the gun on himself. His family is morning a loss too.
It looks like, in this case, that the victim tried what she could. She got an order of protection, or tried to. It was denied. Really? Who does that? Granted and OOP may not guarantee safety. But she evidentially believed she was doing the right thing. Who would deny at least trying?
I’ll be clear: it would be irresponsible of me to claim that workplace domestic violence polices will be the “be-all-end-all” cure to these heinous acts. I can confidently say tell you that a comprehensive domestic violence program and policy will make a huge difference. Huge. We already know this from employees coming forward to their trained designee to get the help and referrals they need. We already know this from well-trained individuals who identify and assist those that may not be willing to come forward, or haven’t even self-identified that they are, indeed, victims.
You know that good workplace domestic violence and workplace violence trainings can stop these would-be shooters in their tracks. It’s been done before.
You’ll never be able to put a dollar figure to something you prevented and to the unknown crimes that could have happened, but didn’t. You can put a dollar figure on increased productivity, increased worker satisfaction, health, and morale. You can put a dollar figure on reduced turnover, reduced health care costs and mental health care costs. You can put a price on what state and federal non-compliance would cost you. You can put a price on what plaintiff’s awards to grieving families could cost you.
For the employee whose life you changed when you stepped in and offered non-judgmental support, guidance and life-saving resources; priceless.
We know. We’re experts at creating workplaces that are safe, supportive and sough-after. When the phone rings and a client says, “we want to prevent this from happening to us” we can smile when we say “here we go again.”
So proud of client SCF Arizona
for heading off a potential DV issue. A recent conversation with Bobbie J. Fox, SCF Attorney, Legal Compliance and Risk Management, revealed that a female employee was having serious concerns with a former intimate partner. The partner (IP) was harassing her and threatening her at her second job. The employee obtained an Order of Protection and per SCF Domestic Violence Policy, she notified the Human Resources Department. HR took the matter seriously and made sure small, but simple steps were taken to assure the employee’s safety. And then…nothing. The GOOD kind of nothing.
The employee had no further problems with the former boyfriend. All was, and is quiet at SCF.
That’s exactly what you want. Training works! My training programs lead with phrase: ‘Small changes at work make big changes at home’. This is an example of that and how successful a broad spectrum DV initiate at work can be when everyone is trained annually for their level of responsibility. And when you have a corporate culture, like SCF does, where the executives lead by example and embrace the knowledge that you can make a workplace that is safe, supportive and sought-after.
I came across the following portion of an online newsletter from the Minnesota Coalition Against Domestic Violence:
Fear has a profound effect on all of us. It affects our ability to concentrate and be productive. But a victim’s fear is particularly unique and profound. It is frequently misunderstood not only by males, but by other females who have had no similar personal experiences. As a result, a woman may be reluctant to report a threat or an attack. She may be unwilling to leave an abusive relationship because she fears her risk will increase. If the incident is reported at work, she may fear the loss of her job, or pressure from peers or her boss to take action which she is not yet ready to take. Or perhaps she fears the unknown – how the employer will react to a threat that may impact the workplace. The more effective a company is in creating an environment where a victim feels safe to report problems, the more successful it will be in learning about these types of risks before there are violent outcomes.
Addressing domestic violence in the workplace does not have to be accompanied by a large budget. Safety precautions may be as simple as allowing a victim to use flexible hours so her arrivals and departures are not predictable; providing a temporary cellular phone to increase her safety as she travels back and forth to work; temporarily transferring her to a different office site; or simply having emergency procedures in place in the event a situation escalates.
Every organization has an opportunity to make a difference by:
- Taking a clear and loud stand on the side of preventing domestic violence at work and in our homes and communities.
- Paying attention to warning signs of victims and perpetrators.
- Being supportive of victims or co-workers who report threats.
- Referring victims and co-workers to counseling agencies for help.
- Creating an environment that encourages people to come forward with concerns.
- Treating every situation seriously and taking actions that may reduce risk in the workplace.
domestic abuse · Domestic Violence · domestic violence at work · leadership development · legal · Legal Compliance · personal safety · prevention · Risk Management · SCF Arizona · training · victim’s rights