TAG | domestic abuse
“But I don’t know how to talk to her.” “What would I say?” “Isn’t it overstepping my boundaries?”
These are common questions I hear when I talk to managers or business owners and executives about conversations they would have with an employee they suspect is a victim of intimate relationship abuse. I can understand it, of course. Our very nature is to keep employees personal lives at arm’s length and to simply concentrate on the business of… well, the business.
However, countless studies and employee opinion surveys have made it clear that when the employer is engaged in open and caring dialogue with employee’s productivity and loyalty improve dramatically.
In today’s Arizona Republic, writer Sidnee Peck offers a sound little article that supports the very concept of clear communication with struggling employees. The article was not available on-line so there’s a scanned version below.
The most rewarding aspect of my work is taking Sidnee’s concept to the next level and training managers expressly on communication in my program “The Good, the Bad and the Funny – Communication at the Workplace™” And in my niche of intimate relationship abuse, “It Happened at Home, It Cost Us at Work™” and other programs designed specifically to focus on the business case for addressing domestic violence and abuse.
Knowing what to say and how to say it becomes easy and rewarding. You just need a little help to get started. I’m here for that. I’m always happy to talk with you about improving communication at your workplace. Just give me a call at (480) 726-9833 or send an email to Stephanie@hressential.com. I’d love to hear from you.
“Stephanie is an excellent HR professional I had the pleasure of working with for management training in communications. She is an utmost professional in her field of HR and works diligently in designing and delivering training sessions that create a positive impact to its audience members. Stephanie effectively balances the importance of the topic at hand and the humor so needed in the delivery and retention of material. I would highly recommend Stephanie to anyone wanting to develop their company into a high performing organization.” Eloisa Valdez, Human Resource Director
business · Coaching · collaboration · conflict · conversation · domestic abuse · domestic violence at work · Employee opinion survey · engaged · management · relationships · training · Workplace Violence Consultant
For a recent presentation I asked attendees what their most pressing concern was in terms of addressing domestic violence and workplace violence and their organization. There was no shortage of concerns and it made for lively and informative conversation. I love having program attendees so engaged in the discussion! I made a commitment to answer as many questions as possible in future newsletters and blogs. That way my entire readership community can benefit from the discussion.
One of the concerns raised was, “Maintaining safety for all when the ‘perpetrator’ is unknown, we have several sites and wouldn’t be able to determine which location the individual might go to.”
There is no single answer for that because, in short, it depends. I asked my colleague, Felix Nater, of Nater Associates, Ltd. to weigh in on the conversation. He had profound and valuable insights to add and I’d like to share a bit of that with you.
“Whether there is one workplace or 5 separate workplaces, each has unique circumstances only found at the specific location called vulnerability gaps that must be addressed. Minimizing risk can occur only if all employees on all shifts are familiar with the coordinated emergency response to the Offender, know what he/she looks like and understand their roles and know what to do during the encounter.
The day an employer receives such an alert is not the time to properly prepare the workplace for such an event. It may be too late to get the word out but lives can still be saved if the workforce knows how to respond. Proactive preparation and intervention is worth the investment compared to the cost associated with a faulty reactionary response to the active shooter threat.”
When you’re ready to activate safety protocols and need assistance to develop and deliver policies, procedures and training, give me call at +1(480) 726-9833 or email Stephanie@hressential.com You can also fill out the form below. We’re here to help.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
The 10 Top Reasons Why I Love My Clients.
- Because you feel as passionate about caring for your employees and coworkers as I do.
- Because you want our community to be a better place.
- Because you have strong values.
- Because we treat each other with respect.
- Because you have something important to say.
- Because you want to hear what I have to say.
- Because you’ve appreciated me referring new clients to you.
- Because you have referred your contacts to me.
- Because we’re cultivated a mutual trusting relationship.
- Because we have a valued partnership.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
You are very important! Do you have DV policies and procedures? Are they tailored to your unique company? Have you conducted trainings, safety drills or any preventive measures?
If you’re not already a member of this valued group of clients, let’s get started now! Contact me at Stephanie@hressential.com , fill out the form above, or call +1 480.726.9833 and visit www.hressential.com
Stephanie is a subject matter expert with decades of experience in violence’s effects on the workplace. She ensures clients receive ideas and skills which immediately motivate them, increase their ability to address this challenging issue, and ensure state and federal compliance.
Happy New Year to all!
Prior to trainings and speaking engagements I’ve never had a change to engage in dialogue with upcoming attendees. That changed in January when I prepared for a presentation to a chapter of Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM). I created a short questionnaire that attendees could answer online and then incorporated the data received into the presentation. An amazing 87 people responded to the survey! Many, many of them also submitted essay type questions and it wasn’t possible to answer all of them during the presentation.
My offer to them, and to you, is that in my blogs I will answer a question with a short audio or video recording. You’ll see the question; then click the recording.
What do you do if both victim and offender work for the same company?
Click on this video length 3:44 min
Or click: http://youtu.be/uk2SaRj764Y
I’m always happy to talk with you about improving your workplace violence initiative. Just give me a call at (480) 726-9833 or send an email to Stephanie@hressential.com. Call today! I look forward to hearing from you!
Arizona Revised Statutes · conversation · domestic abuse · domestic violence at work · Injunction Against Harassment · Injunction Against Workplace Harassment · offender · Order of Protection · personal safety · training · victim’s rights · violence
What a painful article to read. This is exactly why I urge employers of all types and sizes of businesses to take advantage of Domestic Abuse training. If this guy had been required to sit in a class he would have learned about his own behaviors – even if by osmosis. Maybe a spark of recognition would be lit.
That education by osmosis may well have led him to being directed to counseling and resources. Maybe by self-referral, maybe by employer suggestion. Behaviors and relationships might have changed. A woman’s life might have been saved. Another inmate in our correctional system might have been avoided. Why are we still avoiding this issue? Why are we so reluctant to address prevention? Aren’t you ready to lift the veil of taboo and secrecy? Aren’t you ready to stop this madness?
It’s a strong belief of mine that domestic violence training should be mandatory. I know mandatory is a strong word, but is there really any other for ensuring all of your employees attend? It’s the only way to get everyone in the company “on the same page” and ensuring that your organization adopts a corporate culture of like-minded people who prevent and shun domestic violence.
The legal penalties of ineffective or ignored employee relations issues like domestic violence, and domestic abuse can be substantial and it’s like asking for bad PR. Why would any business do that?
In addition, it’s the only way to get the people in the room that really need to hear the message; otherwise you have folks that are afraid they’ll be “outed” by their very presence. That’s why it’s so important to me to do this work.
I know a lot of speakers and trainers who would be upset – even cancel training if they found out that the 50 expected attendees turned into six. I’m not that way. Would I like 50 in the room? Of course. A recent training I had, which was communicated as “optional”, was to publicized 50 staff members. Six showed up. And you know what? That was OK.
We had six people in the room who were the best, most interested, most involved, most fun and most inspirational six participants a facilitator could ask for.
You never know who’s living with family violence. My belief is that if you reach even one person – and make a change in their life, you’ve accomplished something. On that day I know I did with six. They were involved in the group exercises and discussion and weren’t afraid to open up about the tough stuff and “find the funny” in the good stuff.
Quite simply that’s what I’m all about. I make the business case for tackling domestic violence spillover to the workplace. I eliminate the taboos and stigmas for managers and employees to deal with this social problem, and create workplaces that are Safe, Supportive and Sought-After.
I’m always happy to talk with you about improving the way your company address domestic violence. Just give me a call at (480) 726-9833 or send an email to Stephanie@hressential.com. I’d love to hear from you.
“This webinar was very helpful in understanding how employers can make an impact on the awareness of domestic violence and how it affects lost productivity, increased health/mental health costs, and the impact on management in an organization.”
“The webinar was very informative. Unlike most HR webinars that I’ve attended. It’s great to shed some light on this topic as it’s often kept quiet due to its sensitive nature. I feel more comfortable with my plan of action should I need to execute it.”
“Fantastic webinar! I am fortunate to not have had the experiences that were described. I need to be more proactive in seeking way to help others. I did not realize that there is that much domestic violence out there. Thank you for the training.”
They’ve all benefited from our webinars pre-approved for HRCI credit! We’re pleased to announce two of these webinars have been re-recorded and have new and updated information, discussion and video skill practices.
Are you ready to earn more HRCI credit?
Take a look at these convenient and very affordable on-demand learning opportunities!
A few days ago I received a call from a Human Resource Director who urgently needed help and advice with an employee situation that was escalating quickly. The employee was missing work, bruised when she was there, and her spouse was threatening co-worker’s and demanding information of his wife’s whereabouts and schedule. I guided her through dynamics, processes, legalities and options. Then offered her suggestions and advantages to have an individualized, customized complete domestic violence program for their organization now. She said management wouldn’t go for it, “They’d rather wait until something happens.”
“It already has.” I told them. Still, the employee’s unproductive missed time, cost for injuries, personal stress level and anxiety to the workplace isn’t enough. They apparently would rather wait until she’s dead too.
This happens on a regular basis. How do these people stop the reactionary mindset? What is the point of doing a program after-the-fact in the honor of the dead?
Having said that, it’s always a good time to address the issue. My favorite clients are the ones that know the reality is that they don’t have to actually see evidence of a problem, they are realistic, preventive and proactive.
This is a painful reminder of what can, and does happen.
Want to know more or know somebody who might be interested in my services?
Please contact me via phone 480-726-9833 or just reply to this post.
2014 – Stephanie Angelo introduces March Madness Offers
10 for 500 webinar
What is it? You have up to 10 people on a 90 minute live webinar of your choice from the list below for only $500.
Here’s what you do:
Webinar must be scheduled and prepaid by March 31st. You can have the webinar at a later date.
You may have between 1- 15 additional attendees for $15 each.
If the webinar is one of our HRCI pre-approved webinars, each attendee will receive a certificate of 1.5 recertification credit upon completion.
Webinars on this offer:
- It Doesn’t Make Sense and Its Costing Us Millions (read more here) (HRCI Preapproved)
- It Happened at Home- It Cost Us at Work (read more here) (HRCI Preapproved)
- 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover and Other Myths about Domestic Violence (read more here)
Or 6 for 500 consulting
What is it? You have 6 hours of telephone or Skype consulting with me on domestic violence/workplace safety issues.
Here’s what you do:
Calls must be scheduled and prepaid by March 31st.
The calls are one on one. You may not have another individual present and calls are not recorded.
Contact us now for details and scheduling.
It not only makes good business sense, it will bring about real change in your business, your community and broader humanity.
She scraped up every bit of resources she had to bail him out of jail. She just couldn’t see telling him to spend the night in there even though he’d said, “It’s OK mom. I’ll be fine.”
The boy, just barely in his 20s had had a fight with his ex-girlfriend, a girl known for being a verbally and emotionally abusive woman. She called him to her apartment to repair her broken down car. She kicked him and beat him on anyplace she could reach, and though the boy was leaving the building her new boyfriend took over attacking him. The boy’s injuries were relatively minor, but there were cuts and bruises; and he looked scrappy, ragged and unkempt.
When the girl called police and cried that he’d hit her they thought he looked every bit the part of an abusive boyfriend. They arrested him. It cost his mom a couple thousand dollars, and several days to bail him out and have an attorney untangle her son and close the case.
The full story is long and detailed. What the mom was looking for was guidance and feedback. She told me, “I never thought it’d be my son who was abused. I guess I always assumed it would be the girls – because they’re girls. You never consider that your son would be in an abusive relationship!”
We peeled off the layers of dynamics of abuse, perceptions, misconceptions and next steps, like prying off the skin of an aging onion. By the end of our meeting she was relaxed and able to return to work with the same level of attention to detail and customer service her employer found so dependable.
And her employer? Happy. They knew that they’d provided their staff member with an outside resource during a time when she was tense, confused, and feeling alone.
It’s one of the elements of my work I enjoy the most in the close bond of relationships I have with my clients, all of whom I’d consider supportive employers.
And even though her employer had to do so little – they did so much.
I’m always happy to talk with you about improving your domestic violence initiative and coaching sessions with employees like the one discussed above. Just give me a call at (480) 726-9833 or send an email to Stephanie@hressential.com. I’d love to hear from you.