Human Resource Essential Blog
Making Workplaces that are Safe, Supportive and Sought-After

TAG | domestic abuse

Adult learners

It’s a strong belief of mine that domestic violence training should be mandatory.  I know mandatory is a strong word, but is there really any other for ensuring all of your employees attend?  It’s the only way to get everyone in the company “on the same page” and ensuring that your organization adopts a corporate culture of like-minded people who prevent and shun domestic violence.

The legal penalties of ineffective or ignored employee relations issues like domestic violence,  and domestic abuse can be substantial and it’s like asking for bad PR.  Why would any business do that?

In addition, it’s the only way to get the people in the room that really need to hear the message; otherwise you have folks that are afraid they’ll be “outed” by their very presence. That’s why it’s so important to me to do this work.

I know a lot of speakers and trainers who would be upset – even cancel training if they found out that the 50 expected attendees turned into six.  I’m not that way.  Would I like 50 in the room?  Of course.  A  recent training I had, which was communicated as “optional”, was to publicized 50 staff members.  Six showed up.  And you know what? That was OK.

We had six people in the room who were the best, most interested, most involved, most fun and most inspirational six participants a facilitator could ask for.

You never know who’s living with family violence.  My belief is that if you reach even one person – and make a change in their life, you’ve accomplished something.  On that day I know I did with six.  They were involved in the group exercises and discussion and weren’t afraid to open up about the tough stuff and “find the funny” in the good stuff.

Quite simply that’s what I’m all about. I make the business case for tackling domestic violence spillover to the workplace.  I eliminate the taboos and stigmas for managers and employees to deal with this social problem, and create workplaces that are Safe, Supportive and Sought-After.

I’m always happy to talk with you about improving the way your company address domestic violence.  Just give me a call at (480) 726-9833 or send an email to Stephanie@hressential.com. I’d love to hear from you.

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It Doesnt DVD front R It Happened DVD front R

“This webinar was very helpful in understanding how employers can make an impact on the awareness of domestic violence and how it affects lost productivity, increased health/mental health costs, and the impact on management in an organization.”

“The webinar was very informative. Unlike most HR webinars that I’ve attended. It’s great to shed some light on this topic as it’s often kept quiet due to its sensitive nature. I feel more comfortable with my plan of action should I need to execute it.”

“Fantastic webinar! I am fortunate to not have had the experiences that were described. I need to be more proactive in seeking way to help others. I did not realize that there is that much domestic violence out there. Thank you for the training.”

They’ve all benefited from our webinars pre-approved for HRCI credit!  We’re pleased to announce two of these webinars have been re-recorded and have new and updated information, discussion and video skill practices.

Are you ready to earn more HRCI credit?

Take a look at these convenient and very affordable on-demand learning opportunities!

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A few days ago I received a call from a Human Resource Director who urgently needed help and advice with an employee situation that was escalating quickly. The employee was missing work, bruised when she was there, and her spouse was threatening co-worker’s and demanding information of his wife’s whereabouts and schedule.  I guided her through dynamics, processes, legalities and options.  Then offered her suggestions and advantages to have an individualized, customized complete domestic violence program for their organization now.  She said management wouldn’t go for it, “They’d rather wait until something happens.”

“It already has.” I told them.  Still, the employee’s unproductive missed time, cost for injuries, personal stress level and anxiety to the workplace isn’t enough.  They apparently would rather wait until she’s dead too.

This happens on a regular basis.  How do these people stop the reactionary mindset? What is the point of doing a program after-the-fact in the honor of the dead?

Having said that, it’s always a good time to address the issue.  My favorite clients are the ones that know the reality is that they don’t have to actually see evidence of a problem, they are realistic, preventive and proactive.

This is a painful reminder of what can, and does happen.

http://www.azcentral.com/story/laurieroberts/2014/03/25/domestic-violence/6884937/

Want to know more or know somebody who might be interested in  my services?

Please contact me via phone 480-726-9833 or just reply to this post.

Stephanie

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March Madness

2014 – Stephanie Angelo introduces March Madness Offers

10 for 500 webinar 

What is it?  You have up to 10 people on a 90 minute live webinar of your choice from the list below for only $500.

Here’s what you do:

Webinar must be scheduled and prepaid by March 31st. You can have the webinar at a later date.

You may have between 1- 15 additional attendees for $15 each.

If the webinar is one of our HRCI pre-approved webinars, each attendee will receive a certificate of 1.5 recertification credit upon completion.

Webinars on this offer:

  • It Doesn’t Make Sense and Its Costing Us Millions (read more here) (HRCI Preapproved)
  • It Happened at Home- It Cost Us at Work (read more here) (HRCI Preapproved)
  • 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover and Other Myths about Domestic Violence (read more here)

 Or 6 for 500 consulting 

What is it?  You have 6 hours of telephone or Skype consulting with me on domestic violence/workplace safety issues.

Here’s what you do:

Calls must be scheduled and prepaid by March 31st.

The calls are one on one.  You may not have another individual present and calls are not recorded.

Contact us now for details and scheduling.

It not only makes good business sense, it will bring about real change in your business, your community and broader humanity.

Happy March!

Stephanie

 

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supportive workplace

She scraped up every bit of resources she had to bail him out of jail. She just couldn’t see telling him to spend the night in there even though he’d said, “It’s OK mom. I’ll be fine.”
The boy, just barely in his 20s had had a fight with his ex-girlfriend, a girl known for being a verbally and emotionally abusive woman. She called him to her apartment to repair her broken down car. She kicked him and beat him on anyplace she could reach, and though the boy was leaving the building her new boyfriend took over attacking him. The boy’s injuries were relatively minor, but there were cuts and bruises; and he looked scrappy, ragged and unkempt.

When the girl called police and cried that he’d hit her they thought he looked every bit the part of an abusive boyfriend. They arrested him. It cost his mom a couple thousand dollars, and several days to bail him out and have an attorney untangle her son and close the case.

The full story is long and detailed. What the mom was looking for was guidance and feedback. She told me, “I never thought it’d be my son who was abused. I guess I always assumed it would be the girls – because they’re girls. You never consider that your son would be in an abusive relationship!”

We peeled off the layers of dynamics of abuse, perceptions, misconceptions and next steps, like prying off the skin of an aging onion. By the end of our meeting she was relaxed and able to return to work with the same level of attention to detail and customer service her employer found so dependable.

And her employer? Happy. They knew that they’d provided their staff member with an outside resource during a time when she was tense, confused, and feeling alone.
It’s one of the elements of my work I enjoy the most in the close bond of relationships I have with my clients, all of whom I’d consider supportive employers.

And even though her employer had to do so little – they did so much.

I’m always happy to talk with you about improving your domestic violence initiative and coaching sessions with employees like the one discussed above.  Just give me a call at (480) 726-9833 or send an email to Stephanie@hressential.com. I’d love to hear from you.

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tcp_0237 for blog

People who’ve had conversations with me often hear me say, “I live, sleep, eat, breathe domestic violence”.  Meaning it’s what I do.

Ha!  Thought you caught me- silly people!  It’s not what I do.  I don’t perpetrated  it!  It’s what I do, what I am, and what I have a passion for as a Consultant Subject Matter Expert – SME.

Even in company Train the Trainer situations the trained individual will lack the in-depth, expertise, knowledge and experience of the SME.  Worse yet, they may have personal biases to the issue.  They may not be able to answer challenging questions or handle uncomfortable situations.  Their facts and statistics may be out of date; all of which may be reflected in the training itself, the outcome for attendees and long term results for the company.

To bring, or keep, an in-house trainer up-to-speed will cost time and money that detracts from their regular duties. All of that is moot when you bring in an SME whose career is based on:

  • being a problem solver to make an immediate impact with minimal ramp-up time,
  • lowers the client’s risk by conveying correct information,
  • is a valuable information resource and provides a wealth of knowledge and support to clients,
  • may serve as liaison to the functional area from which they obtained their expertise or adjacent resources and industries (i.e. Human Resource Essential’s long-term relationships with EAPs, attorneys and shelters),
  • an SME will have strong expertise in one or more areas directly related to their subject,
  • SMEs are often the “go to” people for assistance and up-to-date information on policies, processes, and critical incidents – for example, our clients are comfortable, and even prefer, their employees contact us directly for information and a place to voice personal issues.

Do you expect your in-house trainer to live, sleep, eat, and breathe domestic violence?

SMEs have a passion for their work.  When it comes to something as emotionally demanding as domestic violence – how the material is conveyed will make a significant difference in the outcome.

I’m always happy to talk with you about improving your domestic violence initiative.  Just give me a call at (480) 726-9833 or send an email to Stephanie@hressential.com. I’d love to hear from you.

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old man in wheelchair

The standing woman’s back was to me.  She bent towards the man, adjusting the blanket around his shoulders, tucking it into his collar to protect him from the cold.  Then she leaned in and kissed him.

It was one of the sweetest things to witness.  I was driving past the couple who were waiting at the bus stop.  Not a pair of teenagers, not a mother with a toddler either.  It was a middle-aged woman and an elderly man – and he was in a wheel chair.

Who were these people?  Was it a woman with her husband?  A daughter with her father?  A hired care-giver, even?

The memory of the gentle gesture sticks with me to this day.  A wonderful thing to witness, particularly for its rarity.  It’s not like they expected witnesses.  Just a special moment in time.

More than 34 million unpaid caregivers provide care to an adult who is ill or has a disability, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. About 83 percent are family caregivers, unpaid individuals providing care for a relative.

In my line of work I’m always alert for the opposite of what I saw.  My antennae is wired for signs of Elder Abuse.

Elder Abuse takes many forms: Physical, Emotional, Financial (misuse, or concealment of funds, property, or assets), Neglect or Abandonment.

I’ll write more about that in a future blog, so please stay tuned.

But for now, just share the sweet mental picture of this woman’s gentle and loving care for someone who was counting on her.  And she didn’t let him down.

I’m always happy to talk with you about Elder Abuse, Domestic Violence and prevention.  Just give me a call at (480) 726-9833 or send an email to Stephanie@hressential.com. I’d love to hear from you.

 

 

 

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Domestic-Violence-500x323

Not an hour ago I was at a Starbucks with a friend and fellow business consultant.  He asked me what my goals were for this year.  One of them, I told him, was for tragic crimes of domestic violence to come to a screaming halt.  I want domestic violence to lose its taboo and for people to see and accept that it’s affecting their lives.  Especially the perpetrators.  Because if you help them, you help the victims too.

What I came home to in the newspaper was a profound reminder of exactly what I’m talking about.  If you haven’t seen what was in today’s paper, take a look:

When we have a robust and ongoing discussion about domestic violence and every workplace in our state mandates training and policies then the outcome is quite simply more people who see themselves edging towards the emotional cliff.  Killing or permanently harming those we love because the relationship isn’t working out is a horrifically permanent “solution” to a temporary problem.  Relationships end.  It’s a fact of life.  It’s hard.  I get it.  But life WILL go on and it WILL get better.  And you don’t have to go through it alone.  There are so many resources available.  Need to know more about them?  Let me know.  I’m happy to help.

Slayings in Tolleson, Phoenix Leave 4 Dead in Violent Start to New Year

Jan 2, 2014

Two sisters were found dead in a Tolleson home on Wednesday after police said they were slain by their father in a murder-suicide. Meanwhile, police in Phoenix arrested a father on suspicion of first-degree murder. Authorities said they believe he killed his 13-year-old son with an ax on Tuesday. (Read the articles)

(Source: Arizona Republic/AZCentral)

Phoenix Man Held on $1M Bond, Admits Killing Son with Ax

Jan 2, 2014

(Read the article) (Source: Arizona Republic/AZCentral)

I’m always happy to talk with you about improving your domestic violence initiative.  Just give me a call at (480) 726-9833 or send an email to Stephanie@hressential.com. I’d love to hear from you.  And you’d be helping me achieve my goal.

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4

 

On November 7th I had the privilege of being a Table Host at the annual Sojourner Center Hope Luncheon, the Center’s biggest fundraiser and awareness event of the year.  Approximately 1,000 people attended the luncheon at the Fairmont Princess Resort in Scottsdale, AZ.

For many, this was the first opportunity to meet Sojourner’s new Executive Director, Maria Garay, MSW. PhD.  Dr. Garay’s short speech, that afternoon, was enlightening, heartfelt and inspirational.  I can tell you from the few times I’ve had the pleasure to spend time talking with her, she is a truly remarkable person.

I had invited several people who are near and dear to my heart; friends and colleagues whom I thought would enjoy the event and care deeply about the issue of domestic violence in our state.  My guests were:

Bobbie Fox, Esq., SCF Arizona https://www.scfaz.com

Terrie Kolker, Hayden & Hayden Insurance http://www.haydenagency.net/

Carl Mangold, LCSW, LISAC Partner in www.TheDVU.com

Deila Mangold, Community Member

Lisa Pressman, singer/songwriter http://tiny.cc/zvwrsw

Tim Ponzek, singer/songwriter

Laura Lawless Robertson, Atty. Squire Sanders www.squiresanders.com

Julie Bernal, Community Member

Cara Lind, Regional Dir. Metabolic Research

 

Sojourner Center is still in need of on-going support.  You can make that happen with your donation, including the Working Poor Tax Credit.  It’s is easy and costs you nothing!

Simply make a donation to Sojourner Center by December 31, 2013, up to $200 per individual or $400 per couple, and include AZDOR Form 321 when you file your 2013 AZ state income tax.

There are several other ways to donate as well.  All the necessary links can be found here: http://www.sojournercenter.org/go2/donate-mainmenu-42/make-a-donation.html

Plus, you can make the Working Poor Tax Credit even if you’ve done other tax credits for example, to your child’s soccer program.   Talk to your accountant or CPA.

Thanks for all you can do to help!

 

 

 

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To my readers:  I have the humbling privilege to know Dr. Maria Garay, Sojourner Center’s new Executive Director.  Together we are creating energizing, meaningful initiatives to address relationship violence.  Recently Sojourner published a newsletter to introduce Maria to the community and she has generously allowed me to post her newsletter for you.

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Dear Friends & Supporters,

My name is Dr. Maria Garay and I am so excited to be joining the Sojourner Center team as the new Executive Director. I come to Phoenix from Los Angeles, CA and have been working at the executive level for the past twenty years in the human services field. I have been at Sojourner Center since the beginning of September and can already see how special and amazing this place is. I am honored to be a part of this wonderful organization, with its rich history and mission of helping women and children overcome the impact of domestic violence.

You see, ending the cycle of domestic violence is something I am very passionate about. While this is a multi-faceted problem without an easy or clear solution, I believe Sojourner Center has and is ending the cycle of violence for the women and children we serve. I believe you can help us break the cycle of violence too, by talking about this issue and the work we are doing, with your friends, family, and coworkers. A recent study revealed that despite 80% of Americans acknowledging that domestic violence is a problem in our society, only 15% think it is a problem among their friends. We know this can’t be true, since studies show 1-in-4 women will be a victim of domestic violence in her lifetime.

This widespread silence is a problem for many reasons. First, it makes domestic violence victims feel isolated and alone. Second, the silence perpetuates the shame and embarrassment that domestic violence victims might feel. Third, by not talking about it, people don’t always know how to recognize abuse or how to help someone who is being abused.

Let’s break the silence about domestic violence and make it easier for victims to get the help and support they need.

I also want to make sure you know about two very important numbers. The first is easy to remember, 2-1-1. This is a 24-hour bilingual hotline that will connect people in crisis with domestic violence and homeless shelters throughout Arizona. The second is 602-244-0089, this is Sojourner Center’s 24-hour crisis line. We are available day or night to talk to anyone who may be in crisis have questions about domestic violence, or need help planning how to leave an abusive relationship. I hope you will put these numbers in a safe place where you can find them and share them if you ever need to.

Thank you all for your continued support and partnership with this amazing organization. Together, we can end the cycle of domestic violence for every woman and child we serve.

Sincerely,

Maria_0001

 

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