A couple days ago I attended a speaker’s workshop that I belong to, similar to Toastmasters.  The purpose, of course, is to give members the opportunity to practice presentations that they will give to clients in a safe, trusting environment where we can coach and critique one-another in a positive and supportive way.  What could be better?  Test your material in front of fellow speakers, trainers, coaches and facilitators before filleting yourself in front of paying clients, to whom you want to present your best information and material.

I was on the slate to present.  Each presenter has only 20 minutes, so you have to pick what part of your upcoming presentation you most want to practice.  Only three or four people have an opportunity per workshop.

So I selected sections of an upcoming seminar and told the attendees who they were “pretending” to be that day; who my upcoming audience was, so they could put themselves in that mindset and give me their suggestions based on that prospective audiences’ point of view.

The practice was going well until I noticed one “gentleman” waving his hand dismissively and shaking his head from side to side.  His facial expressions were of exacerbation and utter denial, they screamed, “Domestic abuse – bah humbug!”

What he did do, quite nicely, was prove to everyone that he was the personification of the very type of person I was talking about. He was there to show off his own skills rather than to give construct feedback to the three people on the slate to practice that day.

The people who attend my conference seminars are there by choice.  Even the employees who go to my programs on a mandatory basis, sent by their employer, are open to the promise of learning something and bettering their lives.  You don’t have to agree with what’s being said.  But acting like a mature adult and demonstrating a respectful presence is expected.

I’m certain I will never have to worry about developing prostate cancer, but that doesn’t mean that I’ll scoff at the importance of research and development of a cure.  Intimate partner abuse is a cancer on our societies and you should be every bit as motivated to cure it as anything else you are affected by whether directly or indirectly.

I happened to tell a friend and colleague about this, and not only was she troubled by his unprofessional display of ignorance but she immediately zeroed in on the reason he was so dismissive of me.  I’m a petite woman.  Bingo.

Trust me; I’ve had this discussion with other people who have no idea what I’m talking about ‘cause it doesn’t happen to them.  But my friend, the self proclaimed “petite Asian woman” knows exactly what it’s like to have people immediately dismiss your intelligence.  As if because you’re the size of a child you think like a child.  Jolene is brilliant – a dynamo personified.  She understands that just because we don’t take up as much physical space we still have presence.  (Jolene fought to revise a voyeurism law and inspired national legislation for upskirt filming).   No one appreciates being judged simply on appearance.  So why perpetuate it?

Clearly this blog post tackles two subjects, dismissing an issue and dismissing the messenger – but they both come down to this: keep your heart and mind open to what people have to say.

bottom line · business · Coaching · company · conflict · consulting · costs · domestic abuse · domestic violence in the workplace · domestic violence prevention · employees · employer · lawsuit · leadership development · legal · management · offender · petite women · relationships · risk · Safety · strategic leadership · Toastmasters · training · victim · violence